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Studying in a boarding school away from family and folks - Apply Texas Essay A


satvik7  
Dec 3, 2009   #1
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

Studying in a boarding school away from family and folks is a very important decision I took at an early stage of life. Coping with the demands and stipulations of high school especially in teenage can get very traumatic sometimes. Sitting over issues ignorantly expecting resolution is not the attitude I should have. As an Italian proverb says, "If nothing is going well, call your grandmother". Whenever I come across a situation wherein I feel helpless and feel the dire need to consult someone for some advice the one person I turn to is my grandmother.

Standing tall at the age of fifty-eight now, my grandma was diagnosed with cancer three years ago. It did come as an abrupt blow to me and questions started erupting within- "Why her?" "What wrong did she do to deserve this?" Life seemed to look utterly unfair to me at that instance and this time I didn't have anyone to talk to like before. And at that time it was none other than my grandma again who comforted me and gave me a shoulder to cry on. She kept reiterating the fact that life is genuinely unfair and we have to live with that fact. Instead of wasting our energies on complaining, we should channelize them towards living life grandiosely. It was funny actually that my grandma was the one who was ill and she was the only one in the family with a warm smile on her face. No one was tackling the situation more prudently than her; her life was at stake, but she believed that it wasn't going let go of her so early.

It is but natural for a person to break down in a phase of horrendously excruciating chemotherapy sessions. She counseled herself by reading self-help books that brewed a positive vibe within her. She was convinced that she wasn't fighting the cancer; the cancer was fighting her!

Now that I have matured, I understand the seriousness of the condition my grandmother was in few years ago. I have also realized that what she meant when she said "live life grandly" she didn't mean live luxuriously and opulently. She taught me to be grateful for whatever little bit that has been given to you and value your amities. I believe that this attitude of gratitude relieves a lot of stress and keeps an individual hassle free. With this attitude issues also seem like stepping stones towards a bright future. She believes that her illness is a test of her mental and physical strength. She, being very religious, used to thank God each and every day for her healing of her illness even when she used to tolerate the most unbearably painful side-effects of chemotherapy at such an old age.

My grandmother's positive attitude towards her illness aided me in my years of high school. Long home assignments stopped bothering me because I perceived them with gratitude as a method of acquiring success. I stopped complaining about my roommates' cleanliness and instead took initiative towards cleaning the room myself. Instead of getting into arguments, I found myself resolving conflicts between my friends efficiently. From being a complaint box I had transformed into someone who has learnt to accept things the way they are.

Suggestions are welcome...

Mayada  
Dec 3, 2009   #2
Studying in a boarding school away from family and folks is a very important decision an individual takesI took at an early stage of life.

Sitting over issues ignorantly expecting resolution is not the attitude oneI should have.

(Make it personal..)

drowned herself in the river of books.

You are comparing reading to drowning? not the best metaphor..

Well, you start with talking about boarding school, then you don't go back to the idea in the whole essay.. don't mention it then! focus on the story only, and reflect it on yourself.. talk about how her attitude towards cancer has influenced you..

Rephrase

Whenever I come across a situation wherein I feel helpless and feel the dire need to consult someone for some advice the one person I turn to is my grandmother. It is Italian proverb- "If nothing is going well, call your grandmother".

As an Italian proverb says, "If nothing is going well, call your grandmother". Whenever I come across a situation wherein I feel helpless and feel the dire need to consult someone for some advice the one person I turn to is my grandmother.
EF_Kevin [Contributor] 129  
Dec 4, 2009   #3
...very important decision that an individual makes at an early...

Oh... actually, Mayada's way of fixing that is better than mine! Listen to him instead.

Your middle paragraph is brilliant!!

the cancer was fighting her!

that is excellent wisdom...

I think you can make the last sentence more original, more specific.
Mayada  
Dec 6, 2009   #4
Mayada's way of fixing that is better than mine! Listen to himher instead.

Thanks.. :P

Her perspective was that of cherishing each and every moment of life to the fullest.

You can substitute this last sentence with an imagery of how you live your life grandly.. like a concluding idea, since you introduced the idea of living grandly right before your last sentence..
EF_Kevin [Contributor] 129  
Dec 7, 2009   #5
I'm sorry Mayada! ha ha, some people are so open-minded that they say they don't see race. I guess I don't see gender, ha ha..
Logical_Fella_C  
Dec 7, 2009   #6
"What wrong did she do to get this?"

How about "deserve" instead of "get?"

Instead of concentrating our energies on complaining, we should channelize them towards living life grandiosely.

"concentrating"->"wasting" Just a suggestion...

her life was at stake and she believed that it wasn't going let go of her so early

I think the use of "but" instead of "and" would be more appropriate here. Also, don't forget to put a comma before a conjunction when you are combining two sentences. So, that should look something like... "her life was at stake, and(but) she believed that it wasn't going let go of her so early."
OP satvik7  
Dec 8, 2009   #7
Thanks a lot for the comments.. I have made the required changes and have now added something towards the end. Suggestions are Welcome as always.. :D


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