'Studying in a school following the Philippine curriculum' NYU significant experience

Topic: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Change is hard. Studying in a school following the Philippine curriculum means you are considered a high school student at year seven and after year ten you graduate then headed to college. It is either I will go to the Philippines and head to college, or complete year eleven and twelve and have better education. I decided to choose the latter. Almost everyone chose to go to the Philippines and start college immediately after graduation. I chose to stay for a couple of reasons, first I wasn't sure what to take back then even though I passed an entrance exam in one of the most prestigious university in the Philippines. Second, even though I didn't know what to take in college, I wanted to be somebody in the future. I took the risk even though I might lose half of my everything, which is my friends I have known for twelve years; I need better education if I am aiming high. And I don't want to have a lifetime wondering about the answers of 'what ifs'.

I went to an international school. It was my first time going to a new school, after twelve years of staying in my comfort zone I finally came out. First day was nerve-wracking but after a few months I got adjusted enough for me to stay. It was not easy at first and I had a few bumps along the way, people were not so welcoming and I got ill-treated a few times. Waking up early in the morning and putting a smile on my face was the hardest thing to do. I just did what I got to do-to study well and ignore the odds. It was obviously different from where I came from, where all there is are Filipinos, I learnt how to deal with different kinds of people varying from races to personalities. And compete with different minds, which made me strive more in class.

This experience helped me a lot. It helped me grow as a person. I came to know I couldn't always please everyone. There are far more mean people out there and I have to brace myself in order to survive in the real world. I thought I was mature considering all the experiences I went through but those experiences were nothing compared to what I faced. This experience made me realize how blessed I am, it made me appreciate everything I have even more. Choosing to stay here did not only challenge me academically, it strengthened me mentally, spiritually, and my relationship with my family and friends.

People who were not so welcoming at first came to actually like me. I met a few worthy friends. I might have lost some people along the way, people I taught would stay longer, but it's fine because it thought me to move on and look forward. Acceptance is the key to change. Change, the way I see it is inevitable this is why we just have to accept it. We need to overlook the downsides, embrace the good ones and make the most out of it. Sometimes we have to take risks to be better and have better. No one knows if we are going to succeed or not, that's why we are here to take the chance.

open for suggestions, grammar check, title suggestions, anything that will improve my essay :)

Hi! Good content! here are a few suggestions : )

Studying in a school following the Philippine curriculum means you are considered a high school student at year seven; and after year ten, you graduate then headed to college.

It is either I will go to the Philippines and head to college, or complete year eleven and twelve and have better education.
--> I think this sentence can be improved.
A suggestion: I have two options: either to go to college in Phillipines or to obtain a better education by completing year eleven and twelve

I don't know if this is the best revision. But I hope it helps, though.

And I think there are some verb tense confusions: I took the risk even though I might lose half of my everything, which is my friends I have known for twelve years; I need better education if I am aiming high. And I don't want to have a lifetime wondering about the answers of 'what ifs'.

Sometimes we have to take risks to be better and have better.
This sentence should be revised, I think.

I hope you like my suggestions. And I hope they are helpful to you.
Good luck!

please take a look at my newly revised essay if u hav time : )
thanks

Maybe "Sometimes we have to take risks to be better and have better"
--> Sometimes we have to take risks to grow as a person ?
I am not sure what exactly you are trying to say here, though

I hope this helps =)

Last Proofreading :)

PLEASE READ:
- The red text are still to be revised.
- OPEN FOR SUGGESTIONS, GRAMMAR CHECK, TITLE IDEAS, FEEDBACKS, Anything that would make my essay better :)
- Is the English I used "good"? Is my essay as a whole "good"?

I took the risk even though I might lose half of my everything, which is my friends I have known for twelve years; I need better education if I am aiming high. And I don't want to have a lifetime of wondering about the answers to the 'what ifs'.

I am obsessed with your last lines :)
I think you wrote this well and you are one very good writer :)

wow, thanks! :)