Topic: Describe a character who has had a profound influence on you?
Success has multiple paths, some of which are more rewarding than others. Most times, the rewarding paths take the most effort, deterring lackadaisical individuals. As a result, many are entrapped by the Machiavellian attitude. According to this theory, the end result justifies the means, conveying the mindset where many fail to realize corrosive paths taken to make life easier have dire consequences. F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel, The Great Gatsby, best exemplifies the faults of this theory through his characters who used this concept as a validation for their effortless ways to fortune.
Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are all granted by the American government through the Constitution. Both life and liberty represent identical principles for every individual. One protects essential human life, while the other protects fundamental civil rights. But the definition of the pursuit of happiness differs for every individual. Given that the government cannot guarantee happiness to everyone, the responsibility falls on the individual to pursue it.
The words pursuit of happiness creates a paradox. Many strive to achieve happiness by chasing their dreams, but end up sacrificing their own contentment along the way. Reaching success is easier when changes in personality are made, but many lose themselves in the process. This ideology stems from people's desire to gain the approval of society through their accomplishments, rather than reap the benefits of the experience. But I learned in my junior year of high school that changing oneself in hopes of gaining approval from others is not the correct path to take.
Unlike the other books I read junior year, I was astonished to realize that the actions of Jay Gatsby from The Great Gatsby paralleled my own. Like him, I felt that that only way to true happiness was through society's approval of success. I did all I could to ensure success, resulting in molding my personality along the way to fit the definition of success. I didn't realize at that time that this was my tragic flaw.
Ever since Gatsby was born, he detested both his family and poverty stricken circumstances. After years of living in squalor, he fell in love with Daisy, an affluent young woman who valued fortune more than principles. Immediately, Gatsby placed this unfeasible lady on a pedestal, at the same time resting his hopes of happiness in her. He struggled to gain her consent through any means possible, resulting in him sacrificing his personality and ethics to make money. On the outside, he represented the ideal man, full of wealth and happiness, but in truth, he transformed into an immoral man. He detested himself for getting involved in corrupt business and when Daisy chose another man instead of him, he could no longer bear to live with himself. As a result of not gaining society's approval, he committed suicide.
Though Gatsby never accomplished his goal, he represented the tragic hero who fell victim to society's standards to become a rich successful man. He had a goal, but he wanted to accomplish it for the wrong reasons. He felt the need to impress others to feel good about himself, and I soon realized I was committing the same mistake. I have wanted to become a doctor for a very long time, stemming from my fascination with the human body. I studied very hard throughout high school feeling that I will be rewarded my happiness once I become a doctor because of society's optimistic view towards me. This whole time, instead of focusing on my desires, I focused more on society's. And just like Gatsby, I didn't realize that the path to happiness is just as important as happiness itself. He didn't have a chance to realize this before it was too late, but this unconventional hero's story has made it clear to me, that I can't rest my happiness in others. The only way I can make myself happy is through knowing what my dreams are, but not getting lost in them. I don't want my dreams to represent me as a person.
Though there are numerous ways to succeed in today's modern world, I want to choose the path that will not let me regret taking chances in my life. I want to experience difficulty to succeed, and the most difficult path to take for me is college.
I'm still not done. i'm not sure what to include in the last paragraph. but once i'm finished i will post again. Thank you so much for reading
Hey Jahnavi, these are just my suggestions, so its totally up to you to use them or not.
Success has multiple paths; some of which are more rewarding than others.
F. Scott Fitzgerald's novel, The Great Gatsby, best exemplifies the faults of this theory through his characters, who used this concept as a validation for their effortless ways to fortune.
(The transition from the first to the second paragraph could be smoother I think)
Both life and liberty represent identical principles for every individual. One protects essential human life, while the other protects fundamental civil rights.
(Maybe you could use "former' and "latter" to avoid confusion)
I did all I could to ensure success, resulting in molding my personality along the way to fit the definition of success (Consider changing that to avoid repetition?)
Immediately, Gatsby placed this unfeasible lady on a pedestal, at the same time resting his hopes of happiness on her.
On the outside, he represented the ideal man, full of wealth and happiness, but in truth, he transformed into anwas an immoral person .
He detested himself for getting involved in corrupt business and when Daisy chose another man instead of him, he could no longer bear to live with himself. As a result of not gaining society's approval, he committed suicide.
(These 2 sentences don't seem to corroborate: did jay commit suicide because he could no longer bear to live with himself, or because society no longer approved of him?)
Though Gatsby never accomplished his goal, he represented the tragic hero who fell victim to society's standards to become a rich successful man .
(This sentence needs to be revised)
This whole time, instead of focusing on my desires, I was focusing more on those of the society.
I don't want my dreams alone to represent me as a person. (Dreams aren't all that bad!)
Again, this is just what i think. Hope it was of use to you!
p.s :It's a great essay! All the best for your applications!
"Given that the government cannot guarantee happiness to everyone, the responsibility falls on the individual to pursue it." is a very strong statement, I really like it.
and "This ideology stems from people's desire to gain the approval of society through their accomplishments, rather than reap the benefits of the experience." is another very strong statement. I agree that focus on approval is not as beneficial as simply gaining experiencing out of accomplishents.
"I studied very hard throughout high school feeling that I will be rewarded myawarded with happiness once I become a doctor..."
Do you want to become a docter because you really are interested in the human body, or because society places a doctor on pedestal? You give two different reasons.
"...I can't rest my happiness in others. The only way I can make myself happy is through knowing what my dreams are, but not getting lost in them."
once again very strong, these are your opinions and you are letting the reader know what kind of person you are.
But I dont think "I don't want my dreams to represent me as a person." is a positive statement and should be omited.
"the most difficult path to take for me is college." this is EXTREMELY negative. an admissions officer would ask why you want to bother with college if it will cause you difficulties. Reword. Maybe say:
I dont want to take the easy way out in life and finish my education at high school. In order to succeed i will always have to learn more, so that is why college is for me.
Ok, since you're not done with the last paragraph, tell the reader where you stand now. Did you change your mind? Are you not going to be a doctor? After all, the prompt asks how the character influenced you.
Overal, this essay was given plenty of thought.
My only problem with it is that you spend a lot of time to develope your point in the first three paragraphs, and it does not focus on YOU.
this is a great essay. However, try making it a bit more personal. At the beginning, i enjoyed your analysis of the pursuit of happiness, but in this, how does it relate to you? When mentioning Gatsby's bio, try paralleling it with your own life. What are the connections? What you have written in the last large paragraph is great, but try implementing this personal opinion throughout the essay.
Other than that, its excellent.
Good Luck!! :)
I have to agree with the earlier posters. The essay readers want to know about you. Sure, background information is nice but that covers almost 75% of your essay. make it more personalized and less about the book. Go into it briefly and say how it has influenced you.
It seems more like a plot summary at this point.
