"Success doesn't come to you" - UCF Essay

The question was why did you choose to apply to UCF?

"Success doesn't come to you ... you go to it." That is exactly what UCF is, success. Ever since I was in ninth grade, UCF has been my dream school. The first aspect that drew me into UCF was its breathtaking campus, the hospitality of its staff and its students. Every time I open up the UCF webpage, I can envision myself during Spirit Splash, during football games cheering on the Knights, or even in my dorm studying with fellow classmates. As one of the most distinguished universities that offers Forensic Science, I know that at UCF I will become successful at everything I wish to pursue. It would be a great honor for me to wear the UCF colors, but it would be an even greater honor to be called a UCF Knight. Just like the UCF Creed states, "I will strive toward the highest standards of performance in any endeavor I undertake." To be perfect is to be a Knight.

Most of your essay is telling how great UCF is.
I think you should tell something more about yourself and let admission officer sense the match between you and UCF.

You have more word space, you should dedicate a paragraph talking about how forensic science is your dream and what about UCF's forensic science program interests you :) good luck

Look over your comma usage, some points have commas where there should be a conjunction.