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Success - What is important to you? Why? - Personal Profile



sarcasticswarley 1 / 3  
Nov 24, 2024   #1
Hello, I would please like feedback on my essay and clarity on whether or not I answered the prompt. Any help is greatly appreciated

Prompt: What is important to you? Why?
Success had always been important to me because it represented accomplishment and respect. As a central value in my culture, it was seen as the best way to make your family proud. As a result, the need to achieve was instilled in me at a very young age. Before I did anything I used to think, "Will it make others think more highly of me?" or "Am I more likely to get an award or recognition if I did this?".
For years, this fuelled my perfectionism and kept me at the top of my class until the start of my grade 11 year, when I heard I wouldn't be receiving an award for my classes in the previous year. As a result, my entire worldview collapsed. It didn't matter that I still made High Honour roll or that my average had increased from the previous year; I thought I was a failure. This challenged me to reevaluate why success mattered to me and whether I was solely seeking validation from others.
Despite this, I worked to change my perspective and remained resilient. I realized that much of my self-worth was rooted in external measures of success and while they can be helpful motivators, they should not be my sole driving force. I also learned that in order to sustain myself as a student, I need to have internal motivation so even when there isn't any chance for recognition, I can count on myself to do the work and put in the effort just as much as if there were. Now, I feel happier with my work than when I was looking forward to things that would validate my efforts and realized that when I focused on the work that I did and what I learned from it, I felt more fulfilled and interested in what I was learning, and it didn't feel like a means to an end.
I still believe that success is the most important thing to me but now it is because it represents my personal growth and pride and contentment in my work.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15415  
Nov 26, 2024   #2
I would change the focus of this essay response from success to self growth. The actual discussion is all about how an event in your life led to a realization that self worth and growth is more important than success. So while you can still discuss success as a part of your response, the essay will be better aligned to your majority discussion in relation to self growth and self worth. The essay is all about your realization that success is not as important as the development that you undergo as a person when you do not achieve success. Review the essay that you wrote and you will realize that your response is not related to how success is important to you.
OP sarcasticswarley 1 / 3  
Nov 28, 2024   #3
@Holt Thank you for the feedback. Is there anything else that would be worth changing?


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