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'a successful Aerospace Engineer' - Statement of Purpose - UT


goodboy 1 / -  
Jun 26, 2012   #1
Hello Everyone,

I am applying for admission in University of Texas for Aerospace Program.
Here is the prompt. Please tell me if everything is alright, point out mistakes and suggestion are welcome.

Statement of Purpose

Not very far away from our apartment complex in Karachi was a Pakistan's Air Force training facility. I still remember those evenings when, along with my parents, I would sit in our apartment's balcony, my eyes zealously focused on the airstrip. Observing the pilot's perform maneuvers in their jets Mushshak or Karakorum had become somewhat of a family ritual but the most exciting of it all was when every once in a while a fighter jet would thunderously soar into the mighty blue sky and disappear into the horizon.

As a young boy till this day, airplanes have fascinated me. How could a man-made object have the agility of a cheetah, the strength of a bear, and the beauty of an eagle all while challenging the laws of nature in the most defiant manner? This question always boggled my mind and as time went by I developed an immense interest towards the study and design of aircrafts.

My initial goal in life was to become a Pakistani Air Force pilot; however, after a disappointing visit to the optometrist, I had to change my mind. I was upset but not discouraged. I was not going to let my imperfect vision stop me from pursuing my childhood dream. I sought another way through which I could work with my childhood obsession.

After doing countless hours of research, I realized that Aerospace Engineering would be the best field that could keep me close to my dream. Further research also revealed that any engineering, especially aerospace engineering, is arduous and time consuming. As a student determined to pursue my dreams, I stand ready to face all the challenges and dedicate all my time to achieve my goal.

The University of Texas at Austin can share my passion and become an integral part of my dream to pursue my undergraduate degree in Aerospace Engineering. The University of Texas at Austin not only has a high quality of academic standards but also has a diverse student population as well as extremely qualified faculty, all of which are necessary in receiving a complete and well-rounded education.

I understand that to become a successful Aerospace Engineer, one needs motivation, determination and excellent education. I believe I already encompass the first two and by attending University of Texas at Austin I am confident I will receive the best education.
Opara 1 / 14  
Jun 27, 2012   #2
I'm jealous. No typos! Concrete! You just hit it.

I just couldn't find any flaw even on my second attempt.

Please can You look into mine?


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