Here is my essay for my Oberlin application. It didn't have a word count suggestion, so do you all think this is a good length? I've got it at 378 words at the moment.
Its hard for me to imagine my life without my ability to play music. Creating music has been a central part of my life ever since I was very young, to the point where I can hardly imagine my life without it. However, the music world has so many different sides to it, playing an instrument being only one of them. I could teach, or conduct, or compose, or even become a sound engineer. Even if I were suddenly not able to play music anymore, I would still consider myself a musician, and there would still be many things I could do within the music world.
I would use my knowledge and background in music to become an advocate for keeping music in the school system. There is such small, wonderful window of opportunity for music in childhood that is being increasingly overlooked by schools in recent years. Learning music is like learning a new language; it is almost impossible to gain a full mastery unless it is introduced and studied in childhood. Besides this fact of ease of learning, students who study music simply do better in school. All academic subjects are related in some way or another and music is no exception. Various studies indicate that certain skills used in school are directly influenced by music. Early exposure to music has been linked with higher test scores, graduation rates, and even college acceptances. In fact, an applicant to medical school is 50% more likely to be accepted if they have taken music classes. Music has such an important role in society, I think it is of the utmost importance that we keep a music program in our schools to ensure we have musicians in the future.
If I could no longer play music, my life would undoubtedly change, but my goals for the future would stay the same. My goals for my future career has always been to do something that makes me feel like I'm making a difference, something that makes me wake up every morning looking forward to what I have to do. While I am sure I would be devastated if I was no longer able to play the piano, I'm sure I would still have a fulfilling career in the music world.
Thanks!
It' s hard for me to imagine my life without my ability to play music.
Creating music has been a central part of my life ever since I was very young, to the point where I can hardly imagine my life without it. ---You should change this, as you just said it it the previous sentence.
However, the music world has so many different sides to it, playing an instrument is only one of them.
I could teach, or conduct, or compose, or even become a sound engineer.
There is such a small, wonderful window of opportunity for music in childhood, that is being ...
Learning music is like learning a new language; it is almost impossible to gain a full mastery unless it is introduced and studied in childhood. ----You shouldn't state this as fact, because most musicians probably didn't start in childhood. You could say 'it SEEMS almost ...'
Besides the fact of ease in learning while they're young , students who study music simply do better in school.----Are you sure about this?
My goals for my future career have always been to do something that makes me feel like...
Your essay is coming out fine, but I think you should write a little more about being a pianist. At what age did you begin to play? Was it because it was taught in school?
