Here is part of my essay. Now the problem is I have written 2992 characters already and thelimit is 3000. This one is 1371 characters, meaning the other portion of my essay is 1621 characters. I want to end strong with a statement of how research is going to define me though although the prompt is to state what you did over 2 summers.
2008:
Elementary school: A ball will bounce when it hits the ground. Will light?
Now I wanted to know. I unearthed books and internet portals, but it wasn't enough. Feynman's spirit embodied me and guided me to Stanford. I had found a course parallel to my research topic 'negative refraction,' but the supposed rigor of the course was some years away from mediocre high-school. Ironically, in the pursuit of education among the ranks of junior undergrads, it was the professor who tried to break me: "Young man, if you don't have the prerequisites, how do you expect to do well in the class?" Honestly, it never occurred to me, but I told her I could hit two birds with one stone.
Gateways opened. The professor was a bard, and equipartition was her epic; lectures on Boltzman distributions became as pleasant as playing Garner Jazz with friends. I frequented her tea-times (short for debate) and she introduced me to the colossal book shelves at the library. I studied from them; I studied until I could assemble physics from the ground up and disassemble it again. Pencil, paper and baggy eyes became a daily familiar; sleeping on books wasn't uncommon either.
Summer passed without fail. I held a research paper that would have satisfied my elementary curiosity. However if I have learned anything this summer, it's that my thirst for knowledge will never be satisfied.
Also any comments or grammar corrections are welcomed
thanks
~pandora
BEAUTIFUL. simply beautiful...
I WANNA READ THE REST NOW! =)
oh the problem is, how can i cut it down? or be more concise? the little details are what I think makes my essay fluid.
anyone?
btw, i just love it how its kevin who keeps this forum alive lol
gj man, you must be really dedicated :D
bump?
2008:
Elementary school: A ball will bounce when it hits the ground. Will light?
Now, I wanted to know. I unearthed books and Internet portals, but it wasn't enough. Feynman's spirit embodied me and guided me to Stanford.
I frequented her "tea-times" (her term for "debates"), and she introduced me to the colossal book shelves at the library. I studied from them; I studied until I could assemble the field of physics from the ground up and disassemble it again. Pencil, paper and baggy eyes became a daily familiar; sleeping on books wasn't uncommon either.
Summer inevitably passed, and I held a research paper that would have satisfied my elementary curiosity. However if I have learned anything this summer, it was that my thirst for knowledge will never be completely satisfied. ...and now your strong last sentence should be one that refers directly to the opportunities and resources available at the school to which you are applying. Connect your passion for science with this institution, and its PARTICULAR strengths for helping you achieve your goal.
This is an impressive essay, for sure!
