Lots of doubts on this one.. Is the first paragraph really necessary?.. Does it answer the prompt? .. Am I being to biased?..
Please critique harshly!!
How your admittance into the program would contribute to the diversity of the culture at Rice?
Culture is a multifaceted, complicated conception. It is an expression comprised in part by the social structure, languages, beliefs, institutions, technology, art, foods, and traditions of particular groups of people. The term is used to describe a group's way of life and its own view of itself and of other groups, as well as to illustrate the material goods it creates and uses, the skills it has cultivate, and the behaviors it passes on to each future generation. Diversity in culture can then be defined as the all of the characteristics that make members a particular group different from others
In an educational environment having diversity of cultures is of utmost importance, particularly in the sciences. In this field it is imperative that in order for a problem to be solved, it be looked at from multiple perspectives and calling on past experiences of the people involved, things that people accumulate with the passing of time. I believe these perspectives and experiences are highly influenced by a person's cultural background.
In my case, as a Puerto Rican, my cultural background has its foundation on strong family values. My family values were passed along not only by parents and siblings, but also by grandparents, uncles, cousins and even some people that aren't even blood related that become part of this extended family through bonds of close friendship. Not only do we share important events, like birthdays or graduations, but we also take part in each other's daily lives as next-door neighbors. As the oldest of all 12 cousins I realized the importance of teaching by example; becoming someone worthy of emulating but still remaining true to myself. The experience of sharing my life with this extended family has significantly marked who I have become. Growing up with such a great support system, taught me a valuable sense of family, of helping others and teamwork. I witnessed firsthand, that respecting and learning from differences in opinions actually makes teams, in this case a family, come closer together, one of my first lessons on the importance of diversity.
I feel confident that what I would contribute to the cultural diversity at Rice University would be an illustration of these values my family has passed on to me, in hopes of enriching the lives of others. At the same time, since my family dynamics are a little unique, I have always wondered about the aspects of culture in the lives of other people that differ from mine. This is where l embark on next part of my journey through life, the part that separates me from my comfortable niche, in search for opportunities to learn from other perspectives and to listen to the life experiences of all the people I meet in the way.
Instead of explaining culture, maybe you should tell more on yourself. In accordance to your question, I personally think that the first paragraph is not really necessary.
In an educational environment, having diversity of cultures is of utmost importance
it would be looked at from multiple perspectives
some people that are not even blood related
It is a lot better than previous version in my opinion. By the way why don't you help me with my essay too? I need proofreading seriously. LOL
. My family values were passed along not only by parents and siblings, but also by grandparents, uncles, cousins and even some people that aren't even blood related that became part of this extended family through bonds of close friendship.
Not only do we share important events, like birthdays or graduations, but we also take part in each others daily lives as next-door neighbors.
It really is better without the first paragraph, and it flows nicely and is interesting. Good luck in school!
:)
