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A Summer Research Program. A great start for future medical school

kungpo91 1 / 3  
Jan 18, 2011   #1
Please help edit, grammars, spelling, wordings etc because it is due soon. I would like to thank in advance =)!!!!!!!!!!!

You are required to write a personal essay (approximately 500 words) that explains your career plans and reasons for applying to this program. Indicate the areas of your interest and describe any research experience, courses or laboratory work, which have stimulated your interest in research. Indicate what graduate courses and/or laboratory work have best prepared you for this program.

"The obstacles in life are set out to test a person's drives, what motivates them to succeed is their dedication and their passion," I believe. This motto has always been and will always influence my academic interests as I hone my skills and knowledge through series of challenges. As a prospective Fine Art major, it has always been a prominent goal of mine to pursue a career in the medical field. As a child, I was always sick, it could be said that the hospital was my second home. Soon I'd become drawn to the atmosphere and developed an interest for the community. Now, to be able to balance my love of Fine Art and my goal in Pre-Med is truly rewarding, however, I feel that I am still lacking the experience and the necessity needed to build a strong foundation for my pursuit in the medical field. Thus a Summer Internship Program at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine is a chance that will not only enrich me academically, but will also further improve my people skills and broaden my experience in the field of research.

During my undergraduate study, I was an excessively active student. I found my Organic Chemistry and Biology courses a good opportunity to gain a deeper insight into the field itself. Lab was especially gratifying, to be able to apply theoretical knowledge in series of experiments as I synthesize organic compounds using a variety of techniques. Some common methods includes simple and fractional distillations, crystallization, filtration and extraction. My tendency to always uphold challenges led me to solve new complicated problems as I always participate with in class problem solving and as a volunteered tutor. These experiences in turn improved my leadership, responsibility, creativity and team work skills that will prepare me for the summer research.

I wish to participate in this summer program in hope that the various experiments that will emerge from the course of this program will present me with an opportunity to further strengthen my knowledge, skills and understanding of experimental procedures. Participating in this program will give me the opportunity to put my knowledge into practice and an insight as to what I need to improve upon. Furthermore, the data analysis and presentations involved in this program gives me the chance to learn and have a thorough understanding of scientific writing and increase my communication skills. Lastly, to be able to work with experienced mentors will not only give me the chance to access from their pool of knowledge but to also expose myself to mature and graduate-level capabilities. This summer program serves as an excellent opportunity for me to meet and build a network of prospective colleagues that will last a lifetime

As I mentioned earlier; The obstacles in life are set out to test a person's drives, what motivates them to succeed is their dedication and their passion. Thus I feel the Summer Internship Program at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine will not only help me grow as an individual but expand my horizon as a whole. With the skills, knowledge, and experience upon the completion of my education, I intend to make a lasting positive impact on the globe.

I feel like the conclusion is a bit weak and it doesn't ties in with the intro and body...
Second paragraph is my research experience but I feel that it's too vague and not informative. I never had any research experience outside of school so this is the best I can come up with.

I feel like I am a bit repetitive in my intro and third paragraphs.
From the quote I replaced sheer will with passion, either way both of them don't make sense and I don't wanna be cliche.
ralph_rodgers /  
Jan 18, 2011   #2
In the second paragraph, I don't understand how you were excessively active. Did you join a bunch of organizations?

The conclusion is weak. I say you should end your essay by stating that the program will help you succeed in making a lasting positive impact on the globe.

Other than these two things, I really liked your essay. I love the fact that you are not a Bio Pre-Med like everyone else and that you want to have a balanced education. Good luck!!!
OP kungpo91 1 / 3  
Jan 19, 2011   #3
Thank you so much and yes, I did tons of activities, but the thing is that the limit is 500 words and I'm at 550!!!!!

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