I think that I wrote a simple piece, any suggestions to make it more interesting? At 267 words the essay kinda exceeded the limit... Will try my best to cut it down. Also, are there any known issues about essays with exclamation marks? Thanks!
Describe the world you come from; for example, your family, clubs, school, community, city, or town. How has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations?(*) (200-250 words)
'Sun, sand and sea', tropical paradise is found at the seaside town of Kerteh, my hometown. However, what I remembered most vividly is the long sand bank on the beach near my house.
Every morning, there was this sand bank forming on the beach where little children loved to slide on it. I was intrigued by the mysterious, consistent appearance of the sand bank and wanted to know how it was formed. I took a different approach - reading. During my free time, I sneaked into a small library across the street and delved into books about science and natural phenomena. Thanks to the books, I realised that the sand bank is formed by the rise and fall of tides. What's more, reading about the sand bank made me 'slide' into an insatiable appetite to know more about science and the world!
Other than the sand bank, another aspect of Nature that has enthralled me is the starry nights, a privilege of a rural town. Once, peering through the telescope a local astronomy club set up in conjunction with the closest approach of Mars in 2003, the polar ice caps and rugged surface of Mars caught my imagination. I thought aloud, "Are there people living over there?" The kind volunteer manning the telescope answered firmly, "No!" I was disappointed, but nevertheless it sparked my lifelong interest in astronomy. Determined to negate the answer, I decided that my future is in astronautics.
Kerteh will always be close to my heart, as it has not only shaped my aspirations but also defined my character as someone who is forever inquisitive.
However, what I remembered most vividly is the long sand bank on the beach near my house.
Every morning, there was this sand bank forming on the beach that little children loved to slide on. it.
I was intrigued by the mysterious, consistent appearance of the sand bank and wanted to know how it was formed. I took a different approach - reading.---This sentence doesn't belong right after the previous one. 'A different approach' from what?
During my free time, I sneaked ---Why did you have to sneak?---into a small library across the street and delved into books about science and natural phenomena.
Other than the sand bank, another aspect of Nature that has enthralled me are the starry nights, a privilege of a rural town.
Kerteh will always be close to my heart, as it has not only shaped my aspirations but has also defined my character as someone who is forever inquisitive.
I hope this helps! Have fun in school and good luck!
:)
