Hey everyone, I'm trying to write the first essay for the UC app and I'm stuck, any advice or corrections is much appreciated. Thanks
Describe the world you come from ï for example, your family, community or school ï and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations
The sunflower-yellow rice, tiny green peas, bright red peppers, and black shells of the mussels create a vibrant culinary piece of art, Paella. Chorizo ï a spicy, red, Spanish sausage ï chicken, shrimp, and clams add to the motley mix of colors and flavors of the unique dish. This imminent food is a symbol of my culture: a mad mix whose separate parts do not seem to go together, but once assembled they form something delicious and unique. Start out with some Spanish, add three tablespoons of French, a teaspoon of Mexican-American, a sprinkle of Italian and a good-old dose of American, and there you have it.
As a six year old, my grandmother would sneak Spanish chorizo and French cheeses in my suitcase in order to smuggle these delicacies to the United States. As a result police dogs chased me throughout many airports all over Europe. She would always remind me these delicacies were much more than just food, rather they were a reminder of our family story. My grandmother was a Spanish refugee who fled to France due to the Spanish Civil War. Many family members perished in the struggle against Franco and the journey to France, including my grandma's mother and father. The year she arrived in France Hitler took over and much of the family was put into concentration camps. Looking at this catalogue of huge surprises, it's clear that the struggle for justice should never be abandoned because of the overwhelming power of those who have the guns and the money and who seem invincible in their determination to hold on to it. That apparent power has, again and again, proved vulnerable to human qualities less measurable than bombs and dollars: moral fervor, determination, ingenuity. To be hopeful in bad times is not just foolishly romantic. It is based on the fact that human history is a history not only of cruelty but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us the energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.
Good afternoon.
I really like your essay, but it is somewhat disconnected. I am not sure what the food has to do with foolish romanticism :)
I'm sure you're not finished, so if you can make sure you link your cuisine throughout the essay to make it linear, it will be fantastic. You're off to a great start. One mechanical correction: "Paella" shouldn't be capitalized.
Good luck!
Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com
