ESSAY PROMPT: The quality of Rice's academic life and the Residential College System are heavily influenced by the unique life experiences and cultural traditions each student brings. What perspective do you feel that you will contribute to life at Rice? (Two or three double-spaced pages)
Sunny Side Up
In today's age of greasy fries and triple stacked burgers, health nuts are proclaiming the old "you are what you eat" adage in an effort to curb society's harmful ways. Little do dieticians know that trans fat and high sodium levels aren't the only culprits of unhealthiness; the "milk and cereal" people of the world, enslaved to habit, are also in desperate need of change. For a whole seven years, I was one of them.
Each morning, I would be greeted by the same, familiar scene. A box of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds loomed over an empty bowl and a silver spoon. A garish mug, purchased for a dollar ten years ago, was brimful with skim milk. Despite being emblazoned with candy hearts and endearments reserved for Valentine's Day, it refused to be kept in a cupboard for 364 days of the year.
I clung to this unchanging sight, knowing that there was one thing that would endure the fluctuations of elementary school and junior high. Wallowing in complacency, I began each day absent-mindedly staring out the window while stuffing spoonfuls of cereal into my mouth. Though my mom implored me to eat a peach or a fried egg with my morning fare, I refused, aghast that she wanted to desecrate my ritual. Life in general seemed as mundane as my breakfast; a fixed routine, regulated by periods and bells, was ingrained in my mind, and any change, if not for the better, was unwelcome.
Stumbling to the kitchen one morning, I peered, through bleary eyes, to behold the familiar shapes. The cereal box, the empty bowl, and the mug were all there.
However, my peaceful microcosm had been disturbed.
The three offenders were resting on a plate at the center of the table. To an ignorant eye they were rather unsightly - ovular shapes tainted grimy yellow with thin brown lines carved across the surface, forming the illusion of cracks. They appeared as though a child had left his tennis balls in the mud, which was baked by the harsh sun into dry clay. In any case, the intruder could've been strawberry shortcake, and I still would've been bothered.
"What is this, mama?" I demanded.
"Mimi-ah! This is 茶叶蛋 (tea leaf egg)," she explained. "I ate this back in China when I was your age. Try it!"
I stared at the strange eggs warily, for they didn't even resemble the conventional scrambled or fried egg. If anything, they took after the hatching reptile eggs on the science room posters. Perhaps, I figured, I could just stuff the thing in my mouth, feign a smile, and resume eating my milk and cereal. It would be less troublesome than rejecting her offer and then being lectured about every nutritional benefit the tea leaf egg contained. My mother watched imploringly as I grabbed a fork and speared the egg with haste. With one last look at the ugly morsel, I took a bite.
I had already started reaching over to grab the beloved box of cereal when, unexpectedly, a wave of smells and tastes crashed onto the shore of my perception. The rich aroma of soy sauce, spiced with cinnamon and star anise, created a flavor that put another bite of the tea leaf egg in the realm of possibility. While I nibbled at the yolk, the fond taste of honey glazed flakes and oat clusters faded along with the urgency of my breakfast habit.
As drab mornings slowly crawled by, the presence of the cereal box and empty bowl became altogether nonexistent at the table. Other Chinese pastries soon accompanied the arrival of the tea leaf egg. Even coffee occasionally replaced my mug of skim milk on the days when badminton tournaments required that I arrive on Saturday at an ungodly 6:00 AM. When sophomore year began, food was no longer simply delivered to my placemat. I began taking an active role in the creation of my meal with my mother's assistance, whether it was by cracking eggs onto a frying pan or filling buns with red bean paste. No longer was I pouring pre-made cereal out of a cardboard box; the diversity of breakfast colored the mornings with uncertainty and transformed me into a versatile "egg" person.
The monotony of my existence was banished as breakfast became a time of change and curiosity. Time itself was no longer governed by a series of ticks on the clock, but instead was swelling with experiences on the verge of being created. Sure, there are mornings when breakfast is just a bowl of cereal and a cup of milk, but life, full of its quirks and surprises, still goes on. It is not what is eaten that distinguishes the "milk and cereal" person from the "egg" person, but it is the perspective they bring to the breakfast table each morning that draws the line. To the University of Chicago, I bring a perspective eager to embrace life's quirks and surprises. I bring the open mind of a maturing girl ready to contribute to her environment and hopeful that it will enrich her as well. Also, I bring the knowledge of how to cook a mean scrambled egg, which always tastes better with ketchup on the side.
Questions:
- how well do I answer the prompt? do i show that i have a unique perspective/cultural tradition to contribute?
- do I show my perspective shift well in my essay?
- transitions? i feel that the second to last paragraph is especially choppy. also, do i paragraph to often? there are many paragraphs that consist of a few or one sentence.
- grammar? things that need to be rewritten?
Any advice is welcome.
Thank you so much! :)
Also, here's a photo of a tea egg for those who are unfamiliar. I don't know if I described it too well...
i14.photobucket.com/albums/a306/digitalmuse/Food/Marbled_Tea_Eggs.jpg
do i show that i have a unique perspective/cultural tradition to contribute?
You did not use the word perspective in the essay, so it is hard to see where you have a sentence that directly answers the question. Somewhere in each essay written in response to a prompt should (usually) be some key words from the prompt.
The day was no longer governed by a series of ticks on the clock, but
it instead was swelling with experiences on ...---- just a suggestion
I guess I think your skill as a writer can be put to better use. Writing about pastry is great, but it would be better if the pastry was shown to be a portal to appreciation... a sort of symbolic detail in your life. That way, you can have it be like... like... the essay is not actually about pastry at all.
This is about shaking out of one's comfort zone (i.e. your morning routine) and embracing something unfamiliar. So, continue that theme!
Thanks for your input everyone!
@EF_Kevin,
I had a couple of questions about your advice.
I assumed that the reader could imply that I have a perspective that is curious to learn about the world and that is open to change and diversity, since that was the main theme of my essay. Should I not assume that/was this not clear?
Writing about pastry is great, but it would be better if the pastry was shown to be a portal to appreciation... a sort of symbolic detail in your life. That way, you can have it be like... like... the essay is not actually about pastry at all.
This was exactly what I was trying to do! I wanted my essay to not be focused so much on the tea leaf egg as how it changed my perspectives. How should I go about changing this? Should I remove some of the details about the tea leaf egg or elaborate on my changed perspectives (the last paragraph)?
Thanks so much for your help :)
First of all, I think I did not express myself very well when I talked about developing the theme. What I was trying to say is that your essay made me notice a natural extension of this theme that you already have. Something about diving into uncertainty, appreciating it instead of fearing it... something like that came to mind for me, and I didn't know how to suggest it.
Anyway, the way you ended it is great... I think it is great the way it is.
I assumed that the reader could imply that I have a perspective that is curious to learn about the world and that is open to change and diversity, since that was the main theme of my essay. Should I not assume that/was this not clear? ----I think the thing that holds it back a little is that "diversity" is used so much in academic writing that it loses some meaning and some impact. Your essay is brilliant and deserves to be driven by another key word or two, like "appreciation," "spontaneity," or (my favorite) "uncertainty."
Sorry I can't explain my suggestion very well. Like I said, this is obviously already good.
Hi.
This has to be one of the best essay I have read in this forum so far. I truly admire people who is able to see the value of simple things in life, and you have done it. It just feels great when someone talk about the things that are close to them.
You have a very unique topic here, going back to the traditional to experience something that you find enjoyable. You use the topic of egg to explore your appreciation for your own culture, which is very appropriate. If you cannot appreciate your own culture, what rights do you have appreciating the culture of others? The flow of the essay is really good, until it gets to the end of the paragraph where you start with
As high school progressed...
.
I think I am missing something here, this looked a bit strange to me, like popped of out nowhere. However, if you believe that you can justify this, then ignore me.
my mind was always ruminating on the past, present, or future.
Overall, this essay is really well written!
G L~
IT is not abrupt at the end. This is great for the perspective prompt. However, it definitely is not okay for the other prompt. You need an essay about two types of people, about an appropriate pair of classifications. There are two types of people who might answer your question: the type that would say this essay is good for both prompts, and the type that would tell you the truth! ha ha...
So, get to work! I need to know what the 2 types of people are.
