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'Sunny View Retirement Home' - UC PROMPT EDIT MY ESSAY


lol 2 / 13  
Sep 29, 2009   #1
hi,

i don't understand what else to write in my essay. the prompt is

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

Here is what I have so far...
"If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody." This quote is a famous Chinese proverb that my best friend told me, and this has stuck with me ever since. It is sad to see how people at my school and my community are too lazy and selfish to lend a hand. Helping others does not have to take the whole day, an hour or two would be fine too. When I volunteer at the Sunny View Retirement Home, I love do many activities with the elderly such as playing word games, taking a long stroll with them, and baking with them. It satisfies me that I was willing to give 2 hours my time to help the elderly with their needs.

What else should I add?

Thanks! [
shelby_l 2 / 4  
Sep 29, 2009   #2
Are there any special times when you were volunteering there that stand out in your mind? Recount one of those times, and tell what you learned from it or what it made you realize about yourself. Elaborate on the word games or baking. Is there a specific person at the home that you made a special connection with? Tell us about them.
OP lol 2 / 13  
Sep 30, 2009   #3
Thanks Shelby :) I really appreciate it

Here is my revised version... I feel like I'm still missing something...what else do I need?

"If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody." This quote is a famous Chinese proverb that my best friend told me, and this has stuck with me ever since. It is sad to see how people at my school and my community are too lazy and selfish to lend a hand. Helping others does not have to take the whole day, an hour or two would be fine too. When I volunteer at the Sunny View Retirement Home, I love do many activities with the elderly such as playing word games, taking a long stroll with them, and baking with them. It satisfies me that I was willing to give 2 hours my time to help the elderly with their needs. When we played word games, one of the residents name Viola, always had trouble unscrambling the words. I always have to give her hints to help her solve the word. The next day, we were playing summer theme word scramblers. We had three residents that played with us: Howard, Viola, and Bill. It was Viola's turn, and the word was beach. Before I said a clue, she instantly said the answer and as soon as she said it, everyone was so ecstatic and happy. When I told her she got the answer, her eyes had this glow which reminded me of my little sister's eyes when she was able to swim on her own.


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