Hi, please help me edit my essay.
Topic of Your Choice
I chose karate because it is one of the most important aspects of my life.
"Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way round or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves." This principle of Bruce Lees is what I have followed throughout life. Just like life, water can either crash or flow. If you are stubborn and unwilling, you will be crushed, but if you adapt and change to your environment, your situation, then only can you overcome any adversity. This is one of the many principles I have learned during my study of martial arts.
The most influential impact in my life comes from martial arts. I have studied Karate for over eight years. My greatest achievement was receiving my black belt two years ago. The moment my sensei tied the belt around my waist is one I will never forget. All of my toil and work was manifested in this belt. It was the most arduous achievement I have ever attained and it gave me a new insight on life. Although I seem to have reached the end of my training, I learned I was far from the top and I still had much to learn. Karate is like a pot of boiling water. You must continue to heat it or it will become tepid. This concept had to be applied to all aspects of my life including my education.
Training consists of kata or form, kumite or sparring, and basic drills and movements. Kata is a set of movements that flow together and each tailored to a different situation and a specific reasoning for the movement. Kumite is where I excelled. At a height of six feet and a heavy build compared to most students my age I was built for sparring. I remember my first match when I was only ten years old. I had just gotten my orange belt and my sparring equipment. Until now I had only practiced movements and concepts, but never applied them in a situation. My first opponent was actually one of my best friends at the time. My sensei waved the flag and the match began abruptly. Eager to begin, my friend kicked me in my solar plexus, and I lost my breath for a moment. But using my prior training, I knew to be patient and shrug off the pain, and wait for my chance to attack. My friend then tried a punch, a kick, then a combo, but at his level, it became a shoddy mess. I applied my knowledge of the martial arts to deliver a front kick into my friend's chest at the moment I was taught. Although I had fractured his rib, it's success was the fruit of training and correct application. This euphoria is what drives me today to correctly apply my knowledge in reality.
Martial arts not only develops discipline, understanding of a human mind and movement, exercise, but it also reveals a different way of thinking, a unique mentality. What interests me is the philosophy associated with martial arts in that it also applies to life. A concept in particular is understanding your opponent whether it be a person or intangible. Just by knowing it's weakness and flow, you know how to defeat or adapt to it. A fight requires taking and giving blows, just like how life involves adversity and reward. Martial arts has made me the person who I am, and it's an experience like no other and I hope to continue my practice.
Starting off with quotes has lost its touch, because so many people have done it in the past few years that it is now just boring and unoriginal.
To start off with a quote, and then make a statement such as
This principle of Bruce Lees is what I have followed throughout life.
is more than enough to bore most of your readers, including readers such as myself.
I suggest you first work on perhaps trying to improve your first few lines so that it is more engaging and interesting so that your essay can catch your reader's interest.
This principle from Bruce Lee's philosophy of martial arts is what I have followed throughout life.
It was the most arduous achievement I have ever attained , and it gave me a new insight into life.
But using my prior training, I knew to be patient and shrug off the pain, and waiting for my chance to attack.
Martial arts develops not only discipline, understanding of a human mind and movement, and physical strength, but also ...
Please start reading books by Dr. Yang Jwing-Ming until you become proficient in "Daoist breathing"!!!
Google: embryonic breathing. Read what Dr. Yang has to say. It has applications for martial arts, meditation, health, and all sorts of qi manipulation. I recommended it to you because I was a martial artist in high school, and I was so happy to discover the profound knowledge Dr. Yang made available.
good luck!!
