TOPIC:Please express your educational and professional career objectives:
I am not sure of my major, yet, my education is my main priority. I am the first in my family to ever apply to college. I feel proud that I am seeking my own independence, and is determined to succeed. As I am applying as an Undecided-Liberal Arts Major, I will eventually find a career I seek interest in. My goal in pursuing a career is to not rely on others, and that I will be happy.
What inspires me to become independent is through a series of events throughout my life. My mother and father separated when I was two. My father is diagnosed bipolar, and my mother placed a restraining order against him due to threatening violence upon our family if he was forced to pay child support. My mother was unable to receive a further education or find a stable job due to raising my brother and I. We live with my grandmother. She provides for my mother, brother, and I.
I have transferred schools nearly every year of high school due to bullying. I found it difficult to make friends, and for that I always had this desire to fit into social crowds. With that being said, I failed a lot of classes my sophomore year. Once the year ended, it was like a wakeup call. I did not like having failing grades- nobody does. I enrolled in any summer school and online class to make up those grades. By the end of my junior year, my grades were raised. I am proud of my efforts and I still have college dreams. I realized that it does not matter where you go to school- what matters is sitting down and doing the work.
As I am unsure of any career decisions, I have some interest within science. I enjoy volunteering after school with my previous AP Environmental Science class to clean up my school campus. I am the president of my school's American Red Cross Club- where I inform youth on disasters around the world. I had a Biracial Club my junior year, where I have connected with those with other ethnicities as well. I also have experience teaching children basic Biology at the Riverside Arts and Innovations Festival. I enjoy helping and teaching others, along with anything science related.
From a young age, I have faced many obstacles. I have not always made the best choices academically and that is not something I am proud of. But, I have always worked hard to do better whenever I have stumbled and I am proud of myself for that. I hope you can see that school is my number one priority and that I am determined to succeed.
A solid start! Good luck on getting into college :) I wish you all the best.
I am not sure of my major yet. M y education is my main priority. I am the first in my family to ever apply to college. I feel proud that I am seeking my own independence, and that I am determined to succeed. As I am applying as an Undecided-Liberal Arts Major, I will eventually find a career I seek interest in. My goal in pursuing a career is to find a career which allows me to be self reliant , and because of my self-reliance , I will be happy.
What inspires me to become independent is through a series of events throughout my life. My mother and father separated when I was two. My father is diagnosed bipolar, and my mother placed a restraining order against him due to his threatening violence upon our family if he was forced to pay child support. My mother was unable to receive a further education or find a stable job duebecause she dedicated her life to raising my brother and me . We live with my grandmother; She provides for my mother, brother, and I.
I have transferred schools nearly every year of high school due to bullying. I found it difficult to make friends, and for thateven though I always had this desire to fit into social crowds. With that being said, I failed a lot of classes my sophomore year. Once the year ended, it was like a wakeup call. I was not happy with my failing grades - nobody would be . I enrolled in any summer school and online class to make up those grades. By the end of my junior year, my grades were raised, and I was no longer failing . I am proud of my efforts and I still have college dreams. I realized that it does not matter where you go to school - what matters is sitting down and doing the work.
As I am unsure of any career decisions, I have some interest within science. I enjoy volunteering after school with my previous AP Environmental Science class to clean up my school campus. Additionally, I am the president of my school's American Red Cross Club where I inform youth on disasters around the world. I had a Biracial Club my junior year, where I have connected with those with other ethnicities as well. (<- this doesn't really relate to your interest in science ) I also have experience teaching children basic Biology at the Riverside Arts and Innovations Festival. I enjoy helping and teaching others, along with anything science related.
From a young age, I have faced many obstacles. I have not always made the best choices academically and that is not something I am proud of. But, I have always worked hard to do better whenever I have stumbled and I am proud of myself for that. I hope you can see that school is my number one priority and that I am determined to succeed . I have learned from my mistakes and I am determined to succeed.
red = my edit
blue = additional commentary
Thank you SO much! i appreciate it more than anything :) after correcting the grammatical errors/edits you made, do you think it's good enough to submit? i'm scared if my essay sounds like a sob story, when overall I am just trying to say that I do not know my major, but I will eventually, etc. should I add more? thanks again :)
