Personal Statement Prompt #2
Twelve stiches, one surgical screw, and a new perspective in life. I've been scarred, and like many other scars; a life lesson was learned. But this life lesson wasn't just about how careful I should be next time, it was a lesson that opened my eyes to a new outlook on life. It was then that I changed my ways for the better.
My seventh grade year was the year everything changed. I broke my elbow horse playing in the gym, and immediately had to go into surgery. I've never gotten surgery before so the thought of it had me frightened. The memory is still vague to me but fragments of the surgery are constantly played in my mind. I remember how closely I paid attention to the clock and how each tic of the small red hand was another breath for me. I closed my eyes for what felt like only three seconds. After that, everything was pitched dark and my mind was at rest. The next thing I remember was waking up in a white room and having no recollection of what went on after those last three breaths. And this is exactly what has inspired me to pursue a career in sports medicine. I feel as if a part of my life is missing, and the only way to fulfill that part is by learning what goes on in that infamous white room and becoming an Orthopedic Surgeon.
As a result of my seventh grade year., I've began to take school more serious. I started to think about my future, and take charge of my academic life, anything lower than a "B" was unacceptable. I applied for the AVID program and immediately got accepted. There, I met other students with college aspirations and this pushed me to do even better. As I entered high-school, I loaded my schedule with Honors and A.P. courses. My life was taken up with nothing but homework and sports; which was exactly what I needed.
Ironically, what I thought was a horrible accident, became one of the best things to ever happen to me. The accident changed me for the better and has made me appreciate my education and opportunities. Getting surgery opened my eyes, and made me realize the important things in a young adult's life, such as school and future aspirations. The next step to accomplish my goals is to get accepted to the University of my dreams and pursue a sports medicine career so that one day it will be me who performs the surgery.
What happened to me five years ago has made me reinvent myself. The surgery that was performed on me has brought nothing but curiosity and wonder. These curiosities filled me with determination and drive to make something of my life. Whenever I need motivation, I look at my elbow and remember the reason for why I am pushing myself. Moreover, studying Sports Medicine and the ways of an orthopedic surgeon will finally give me a sense of satisfaction. I am stitched, screwed, and scarred, with a new objective in life. One minor surgery has escalated to a major factor for my new passion in striving for a successful career and successful life.
I think you have written a wonderful essay, I really like it. Let me offer a few suggestions on your wording.
I broke my elbow while horse playing in the gym, and immediately had to go into surgery.
I had never gottenexperienced a surgery before, so the thought of it had mewas frightening.
The memory is still vague to me but fragments of the surgery are constantly played in my mind.
You could say: "To this day, I have vague memories of the surgery that sometimes cross my mind."
And this is exactly what has inspired me to pursue a career in sports medicine.
I think you need a better transition into this statement. Something like: "My experience in the hospital made me realize that medical professionals have a great impact on people's lives."
I remember how closely I paid attention to the clock and how each tic of the small red hand was another breath for me.
I don't really understand what you're trying to say with this sentence. The way I'm reading it, it sounds like you thought you were going to die which seems unlikely. I would edit it for clarity or take it out all together because, although well-worded, it doesn't add anything
