Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 5


I was Suspended and spent a day in ISS: CommonApp


nritya 6 / 22  
Dec 31, 2010   #1
On October 2nd, 2008, I served a one day in-school-suspension because of truancy, which occurred on September 25th.

It was a very stupid decision: I chose to finish a brief vocabulary assignment in the backseat of my elder sister's parked car before going to first period. Even as I stayed back when my sister rushed off to her first class, I knew I was taking advantage of my privileges. The mistake was a gross abuse of the trust placed in me by my parents and sisters, the latter who allowed me to come to school with her by car rather than ride the bus each morning like other underclassmen. It was an abuse of the trust placed in me by my school as well; I was always allowed to check in late, even without a parent to verify my honesty. That my values were compromised for such a petty matter is shameful, and I recognize and accept my failure to uphold my honesty and integrity that day. Looking back, I should have gone to class immediately, regardless of the low grade I would have received, or that I was "already late anyway."

After news of the incident rippled through the student body, I gained a brief and embarrassing notoriety as "the girl who got ISS for doing homework." Some laughed, amused at the prospect of someone so typically straight-edged sitting among the "juvies" for a day. Regardless of my upstanding past and benign motivations, though, I accepted the punishment. I didn't finish last night's homework. The worst consequence would have been a zero in the grade book and a disappointed teacher. Yet in the heat of the moment, enticed by an unfair opportunity, I mistakenly placed more value on an insignificant grade than in my personal integrity. The relapse in judgment has nonetheless shown me a new perspective. Grades, romance, status, money - all are at times overblown beyond their actual significance. With my experience more than two years behind me, I now make sure to evaluate the true value of the issues at hand. Careful not to develop the same tunnel vision, I understand that it is necessary to prioritize my concerns in relation to my integrity and ethics. It is my hope that a juvenile mistake, now a source of growth, does not mar your perception of me as a student.

what are your impressions? should I leave out the last sentence? should I add anything?
navalava 6 / 30  
Dec 31, 2010   #2
If this isn't going to be on your record, I wouldn't mention it. It's very well explained, in my opinion, and if I were on the admissions committee, I wouldn't mark you down for it. In fact, you would gain points for explaining an incident so honestly. However, not all admissions readers are that open-minded.
OP nritya 6 / 22  
Jan 1, 2011   #3
it's not my common app essay - its an extra essay I attached to explain the ISS. yes, it will be reported.
amjeezy 5 / 18  
Jan 1, 2011   #4
I enjoyed the essay, but it really does seem like you are trying to explain and make up for a blemish on your record. in my opinion, advertise yourself more. i mean i understand you made a mistake, but talk about how you grew from it. talk about how you learned from it. make me feel like this individual has made a mistake but they have grown so much now i do not even mind anymore. there is no word limit so use that to your advantage
computerjunkie - / 9  
Jan 1, 2011   #5
i really enjoyed your essay, and i believe you should leave the last sentence. I realy dont have much criticism to offer, except:
Regardless of my upstanding past and benign motivations, though , I accepted the punishment.
i don't believe the "though" is really necessary; it makes the sentence seem awkward and wordy. otherwise, excellent writing!


Home / Undergraduate / I was Suspended and spent a day in ISS: CommonApp
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳