Hello, I am new to essay forum and this is my first post. I am an ESL student so there might be many grammer mistakes in my essays, and that's why I am here to ask for help! Here is my essay question:
Why NYU?
New York University certainly possess many appealing qualities, but what differentiates NYU and makes it especially fascinating to me is its passion for contributing to sustainability and educating the next generation to be green leaders. As an ambitious teen and the founder of *** Environmental Organization, I am devoting myself to change the world by influencing people with new and mind-opening view of sustainable development, and NYU can help me fulfill my dream. NYU, as such a large institution, make use of its influence to bring about positive changes in the environment on a global scale. The school has the remarkable opportunity to contribute to sustainability by reducing its own environmental impact, enlightening the students with sustainability education, and bringing the idea of sustainability far beyond the campus. The variousity and success of the campus projects on the environment are extraordinary. The Sustainability Task Force in NYU conducts environmental assessment and propose green plan to improve its footprint, which is part of ***'s subject. The Green Grants program provides students who have the same goal as me with the best opportunities.
People rely on the natural resources that the earth provides, but many of us do not consider the long-term consequences of our actions, and are unwilling to take the responsibility when facing environmental backlash. The world needs to be changed, and NYU is just the place that gathers people who have the same passion and same mission--to make a difference. NYU is one step ahead of other school in its realization of the importance of sustainability, and I want to join it and become one of the pionner of sustainable development.
p.s. *** represents the name of an environmental organization I founded, but I can't tell its name. I also talked about it in the main essay.
Thank you!
First of all, I would like to say GL in getting in =)
Although I am not a very green person, this is a wonderful essay. Of all the essays about NYU that I have read, this is the first one I have seen that talks about the "green" aspect of NYU. It's a very professional and original essay. The fact that you included specific programs shows that you did deep research about the school. Also, you're own voice in trying to be green makes the essay a lot more stronger and personal.
Good Job!
=)
Cool! I'm also applying for NYU :) You have a well written and convincing essay. Keep up the good work!
Somethings that you might want to fix are:
- next generation to be green leaders . to become green leaders would sound much nicer.
- You might want to write teen out. So instead of saying teen, write teenager.
- make use of its influence.. Makes
- conducts environmental assessment and propose green plan to improve its footprint.. change to assessments, proposes, plans
- This sentence sounds a bit awkward. The Green Grants program provides students who have the same goal as me with the best opportunities. . Instead, you could probably say something along the lines of The Green Grants program provides students with the best opportunities who also share the same goals as me...
-NYU is one step ahead of other schoolschools
- pionnerpioneer's
