Swimming.. I wouldn't have dreamed - Common App short

Prompt: Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

Since I started high school, swimming has become something I can't imagine living without. When I walked into the locker room before the first practice my freshman year and saw moldy showers, and rusty lockers I had no idea that that room would soon become my second home. The first time I met my eccentric teammates I wouldn't have guessed that they would eventually become my best friends. As I dragged myself out of the pool after my first grueling practice I would have never dreamed that a year and a half later I would drag myself out of a different pool after breaking a school record. When I first gawked at the schedule that said the season lasted a staggering four months I didn't realize how quickly that season, and the next two, would pass. Now with only one season left in my high school career I plan to make the most of my last year and try not to take for granted all of these little pieces that have come together to make an unforgettable high school experience.

I'm not sure I want to use this as my essay, because I might do my longer one about swimming... but then I'd need to think of something else to write this one about...

I would love any comment/critiques/suggestions/corrections

(PS, I made basically this same thread yesterday, but when I got on today it was deleted... is My Common App Short Essay (Swimming) to vague a title?)

Take out the second comma:
When I walked into the locker room before the first practice my freshman year and saw moldy showers, and rusty lockers I had no idea that that room would soon become my second home.

Other than that its good :)