A hotel room to a kid is what a castle is to an adult. My brother and I would sprint through the halls, rent pay per-view movies, and spend Mom's change at the vending machines. I even told stories to my 7-year-old classmates about staying in a hotel and they were fascinated. Looking back, I wish I was able to stay on the vacation for longer. But I had to face realities that kids at that age should not have to. It first occurred to my brother and me that something was wrong when we had not seen our dad in over a week. In the beginning, our mom was able to hide it from us, like a parent sheltering their kid from the death of a pet. Later that year when I had a better understanding of what exactly our family was going through, I realized it was not something to brag about to my classmates and conversely the opposite.
My red initialed backpack that I had received as a gift 3 years prior, was beginning to deteriorate. I approached my mom and told her I needed a new backpack. "Your father and I have agreed to what each of us are going to buy for you guys. Your dad is responsible for all school related supplies," she explained to me. So the next day when I brought my self and all my belongings to my dad's house I told him I needed a new backpack. "I PAY YOUR MOM OVER $2,000 A MONTH IN CHILD SUPPORT AND SHE CAN'T BUY YOU A BACKPACK?!," he yelled at me although I was simply asking for a new backpack and doing what my mom had said. So then I went on with my school year ignoring the holes in backpack and the fact that it was heavier than my other classmates because it was filled with my things that I needed to transport from house to house, and not just school supplies.
While coming home to the same house, the same room, and the same bed seems natural for most children, for me that would feel like a luxury. I spent my childhood switching houses, and imprisoned in my parent's constant arguments about child support, and custody. In most cases, a well-balanced family creates a sense of security for children and when I was stripped of that, I felt scared and alone. I realised then that because my parents were entangled in their own battles, with each other and within themselves, that I would have to begin looking after myself.
I developed a pest that was always with me, constantly reminding me that I would never have a good family life like my friends did. I would go to their houses and be envious of the way everyone, mom and dad, would sit down for dinner. Although statistics would show that children of divorce are more likely to get divorced when they are adults, I know I will do whatever I can to ensure that my future family will be tight and strong. I would never be able to put a kid through the unnecessary stress, anxiety, and depression that comes along with being a child of divorce. Resilient people are able to respond to adversity by finding some way to benefit them. I know my childhood has not been ideal but because of that, I have learned to overcome things that I cannot control, and work for the best in the things that I can.
Here are my corrections. Overall, it's an interesting essay, I like the style in which you wrote it.
A hotel room to a kid is what a castle is to an adult. My brother and I would sprint through the halls, rent pay per-view movies, and spend Mom's change at the vending machines. I remember telling stories to my 7-year-old classmates about staying in a hotel and they were fascinated. Looking back, I wish I was able to stay on the vacation for longer. But I had to face a reality that kids at that age should not have to. It first occurred to my brother and me that something was wrong when we didn't see our dad in over a week. Initially, our mom managed to hide it from us, like a parent sheltering their kid from the death of a pet. Later that year when I had a better understanding of what exactly our family was going through, I realized it was not something to brag about to my classmates and conversely the opposite.but it wasn't long before I realized that the vacation wasn't something to brag about.I changed this to reduce the word count, and because I felt the simile didn't really work for this particular sentence.
I also thought that the 2nd paragraph would fit better after your 3rd one.
While Coming home to the same house, the same room, and the same bed seems natural for most children, but for me that was a luxury . I spent my childhood switching houses, and imprisoned within my parent's constant arguments about child support and custody. In most cases, A well-balanced family creates a sense of security for children, and when I was stripped of that, I felt scared and alone. I realized then that because my parents were entangled in their own battles with each other and within themselves , I would have to begin looking after myself.
One incident form that time that I remember(I just felt like I needed something to connect the two paragraphs together. I'm sure you can come up with a better phrase, though.) occurred when my the details aren't really necessary, and they take up space backpack began to deteriorate. I approached my mom and told her I needed a new backpack. "Your father and I have agreed on what each of us is going to buy for you. Your dad is responsible for all school related supplies," she explained to me. So the next day when I brought myself and all my belongings to my dad's house, I told him I needed a new backpack. "I PAY YOUR MOM OVER $2,000 A MONTH IN CHILD SUPPORT AND SHE CAN'T BUY YOU A BACKPACK?!," he yelled at me, although I was simply doing what my mom had said . I had to go through my school year ignoring the holes in backpack and the fact that it was heavier than my other classmates' because it also contained the things I needed to transport from house to house.(It reads better this way, in my opinion, and also uses less words.)
I developed a pest that was always with me,I was constantly reminded that I would never have a good family life like my friends did. I would go to their houses and be envious of the way everyone, mom and dad included , would sit down for dinner. Although statistics would show that children from broken homes are more likely to get divorced when they become adults, I know I will do whatever I can to ensure that my future family will be tight and strong, because I will never be able to put a kid through the things I had to live with. I know my childhood has not been ideal but because of it, I have learned to overcome things that I cannot control, and work for the best with the things that I can.
This should be just around 500 words (I typed it in Word and it was 495 words long, but then I added a few words later on).
A hotel room to a kid is what a castle is to an adult.
What does this really mean? Do you mean that a kid would find a hotel room like a castle? I find it a bit confusing :(
Some help with your word count;
But I had to face realities that kids at that age should not have to.
But I had to face realities that kids of my age didn't have to.It first occurred to my brother and me that something was wrong when we had not seen our dad in over a week
I and my brother first felt that something was wrong when our dad didn't show up for a week.In the beginning, our mom was able to hide it from us, like a parent sheltering their kid from the death of a pet.
.... I don't get the latter part....
At the beginning our mom was able to hide it all from us.