Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


"Sydney, just give her a chance." -Brown: What is the best piece of advice


TheScholar 2 / 3  
Dec 28, 2010   #1
It's your first day of first grade at a new school. Your mom and dad are waiting with you at the bus stop. You tell them of your worries: that you'll be picked on, that you'll make no friends, that you'll have a mean teacher. And how do your parents respond? They undoubtedly deliver the iconic phrase, "Just be yourself." At the time, you question your parents' sanity, slowly muster the courage to climb the bus's stairs, and soon arrive at school to live out one of the most uncomfortable days of your life.

This is the earliest memory I have of being told to "be myself." That day I was paraded in front of the class by my teacher and sat at a desk near the back of the room. I remember walking out to recess, alone, and spending the majority of my time trying to avoid all human contact in fear of being harassed. But that wasn't how I acted at my old school. I was the kid who befriended everyone. I vowed that I would never again spend a recess in hiding.

The next day, at the first recess, I stuck by my decision. Walking out onto the playground, I braced myself for any awkwardness that may ensue. I searched the courtyard for my future best friend. I knew that I would find a friend that day. Like my parents said, I just had to be myself. After a bit of looking about, I found a girl sitting on a bench, watching the other kids swing and play. She didn't look sad, just curious. I, a bit overenthusiastically, ran over to the bench and scooted myself next to her. I introduced myself, and she did not respond. Thinking she hadn't heard me, I repeated myself. When I had finished, I heard the softest response. Her name was Sydney, she said.

After a year of convincing, by following her around everywhere, Sydney finally gave up trying to avoid me, and we've been friends ever since. In recent years, I've learned of the advice Sydney's parents gave her to handle my "openness." After a couple weeks of her complaining to her parents, they gave her the advice that was the "key" to my parents' advice: "Sydney, just give her a chance." She did.

Of course, this advice could have led to the most awkward social attempt in my life. Being true to myself wasn't easy then, and it still isn't now. However difficult it may be, this advice will always be the best I've been given. Not only did being myself give me my closest and best friend, it also gave me a way of living my life.
Eccentri 1 / 4  
Dec 28, 2010   #2
As I would assume that a college application essay is a formal essay, I would avoid the usage of contractions unless you're desperate to remain under a certain word limit and are very close to that limit. While your introduction is good and captures my own attention, you might want to consider if you're allowed to address the reader or not, if not, just mildly edit the introduction. If you are, then you're set, it's a great start to an essay. On a side note, you may want to edit the way you phrase the paragraph about Sydney and her parents a little bit, unless you prefer the way you phrased it.
OP TheScholar 2 / 3  
Dec 28, 2010   #3
Thank you for your advice! I did debate about the contractions, but I'm fairly close to the word limit. I'll see if I can change them, though. I wasn't sure about the tense of the intro either...Thanks again!


Home / Undergraduate / "Sydney, just give her a chance." -Brown: What is the best piece of advice
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳