One may think they understand the world around them, but does one even know what to understand and what to appreciate? About three summers ago, my parents saved enough money so we could get an opportunity to visit Jamaica , where my mother was born and raised. The plane ride to get to my destination featured a lot of speculation in what Jamaica would hold in store for me. I thought it would be one of those typical fun-filled vacations, it absolutely was, however, it left a significant impact on me emotionally. Jamaica faces plenty of hardships and heartaches on a consecutive basis and my mom lived there and she put her mighty hard work and effort to get out of there and she succeeded. I have learned to gain a greater appreciation on the things I actually have and I have learned the concept of truly working your hardest.
This trip made me realize how hard my mom works for our family and it makes me thankful for everything I have the blessing of doing and owning. My mom, along with my symbolic vacation inspired me to work hard and shoot for my dreams, my dreams including becoming an orthopedic surgeon in sports medicine. This meaningful event has propelled me to keep up my hard work and no matter how tough things get, to keep on fighting. My vacation to Jamaica three years ago has inspired me to go every year since and I have brought many friends along and their perspective of life changed significantly, they gained a greater appreciation on where they live, the best nation in the world with many opportunities to choose from, and the things their parents do for them and how crucial it is to push your limits and grasp your dreams into a firm grip.
This experience has already affected my life and will continue to impact my educational experience with college approaching in a heartbeat, it is going to propel me to become the first doctor in my family which is an incredible milestone coming from a family of people who have done little or none post-secondary education. With the continuous encouragement of my family, I am going to strive to make my dreams come true, something both my parents intended to do but were unable to and now they live with regrets, specifically, struggles financially and working immense hours. I want to look back at everything one day; my symbolic journey to Jamaica, my success in high school and at the University of Florida and I want to smile knowing I made my dreams come true and knowing there is not one thing to look back on, there will be no regrets. I turned my dreams into reality, what could be any better?
Try to find ways to revise sentences. Some are a little wordy: "..so we could get an opportunity to go to Jamaica" and "the plane ride to get to my destination." Spice up the sentences too. Your first sentence was interesting, but you have to follow up in the next few to keep the reader's interest.
Also, I agree that you should try to put yourself in there more. Other than that great job, I like your topic a lot!
