Syracuse University never interested me. My passion for social work and helping others changed it.

250 Word Maximum

Prompt: Who or what influenced you to apply to Syracuse University?

Syracuse University never interested me much, other than the fact that my cousin attended, I paid very little attention to it. Until recently, I never even visited the schools website. However, when I discovered my passion for social work and helping others, I began researching where I could pursue what I love and make a career out of it. Since a young age, I knew I wanted to work with people when I got older, I just did not know exactly how. I considered following in my mother's footsteps and becoming a teacher, yet I realized that it was not exactly what I wanted to do. As I got older, my mom would come home telling me stories about students she had, stories which I thought only happened in movies. One of the stories I will never forget was about a young boy who was in an abusive foster home. My mom constantly fought to get him out of this home and I saw the pure desperation she felt when it seemed as if no one could help. At this moment I realized how I would help others. I decided to pursue a degree in social work so no other child will have to experience what he did. While deep in a college search for my particular major, I came across Syracuse University. I read through countless statements from students who tell profound stories of the major. After hearing of past students love for the program, I decided to apply. Syracuse University will give me the best opportunity to follow my passion by studying in a highly respected social work program, making my dreams a reality.

I'm new tho this but I think your first sentence you should change it because once the college read that part "Syracuse University never interested me much, other than the fact that my cousin attended, I paid very little attention to it" . they would trow it right into garbage.

I am worried about that sentence also, I thought it would be bold and stand out unlike typical essays about how it has always been ones dream school.

Kara, there does not really seem to be a strong influence regarding your desire to enroll at Syracuse. There is a lack of personal connection between your plans and the decision to choose the university. That doesn't mean that the essay is useless to you though. You just have to adjust the content in order to create a deeper and more impressive connection within it. My idea for revising your essay has a pattern that looks like this:

1. my mom would come home telling me stories about students she had, stories which I thought only happened in movies.... My mom constantly fought to get him out...

2. I decided to pursue a degree in social work... what he did.
3. While deep...across Syracuse University.

At this point you mention that your cousin also attends the school and that you had a talk with your cousin regarding the university and what struck you the most was the compassion and desire to learn that your cousin had (or something to that effect). Mention that you were introduced by your cousin to other students of the university (Don't say internet research. That doesn't really impress the reviewer) and it was this interaction that inspired you to attend Syracuse.

If you decide to consider my suggestions, you just might end up better developing your response to the prompt.