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Taiwan and the hidden talents. SoP- Applying for master program - Arts management, administration.


eric41061 3 / 10 4  
Feb 11, 2016   #1
Hi,
I hope this essay won't be verbose for you, but I also want to get few helps from you, giving me some idea to make the essay better. Please feel free to comment or rephrase, making my purpose clear. I want to study in the field of arts management and administration. And I want to engage the occupation about arts, working in the galleries, museums or auction companies. Dealing with people is exciting to me, promoting the arts industry may be what I want to attempt.

Grateful to see any message.

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I want to apply for _________ master's degree program at the University of _________ because it is very well respected and can help enhance my future career. Working in the field of and with artists has my dream and this has taken shape through my experiences of being an actor, dancer, technician for the theatre and even a director. These gave me the idea of pursuing a career in the field of curating or arts management. Since having instruction in a different field in my undergraduate studies, I think it is important to complete my programme of study in the field of Arts Management if I am to develop my degree in this field.

I graduated from the ____________ Department of __________University in 2014, and I majored in anthropology, minored in sociology. Being different from other departments, it's free to choose what you like to study in different disciplines. In order to improve my sense of the arts, anthropology, gender studies, history, sociology, philosophy were all the factors I chose to inspire myself, and also, was easy for me to engage interdisciplinary studies, complex projects like arts management. I found that these could always make me excited and pleased after completing the course and has made me want to focus on this field for my career. I have found that not only academic training could be the foundation for my postgraduate study, but practical performance experiences including dance and drama have also made me conversant with multi-faceted arts.

Although I have not got many experiences of performance art, I have had a leading and supporting role in the crew of the department to conduct an annual drama play, so I have been exposed to the field from a practical perspective, but I still had little idea about what is required in terms of management.

For this reason, I became an exchange student in Beijing and studied in the _______ Department was a great occasion; I took two courses of "History of Art Market" and "Design Criticism", and these taught me a lot about art market operating and critical writing. Further, I showed my talents for administration by joining the student association both in Taiwan and Beijing. Serving in public affairs was not an easy mission as we had to deliver speeches and promote the student movement: we were tasked with achieving more for less. Due to our diligence and careful planning as well as frequent negotiations between students and the school, we achieved the goals we had been set. These included putting forward the claims to school such as maintaining the fees for dormitories and extending the opening hour of the library. Further, we also worked tirelessly on behalf of the students and held events such as throwing the parties and providing the mattresses for freshmen.

I worked in the auditorium of the university as a part-time job for three years, joined a documentary project for the charitable foundation. Here I helped the department to publish the collected works with my editing ability. I was also elected as the leader of a dormitory who needs to mediate the conflict between students. Unlike the universities of Europe, the dormitories in Taiwan usually consist of quad rooms and students in dorms share one or two public facilities. My administrative abilities developed by dealing with many claims from over four hundred students, I built a team to review the budget, hold activities and have kinds of public services, sometimes people are complicated than we think especially when we lived together, but I insist each condition should be treated case by case, if I could be attentive to people's needs, resolving matters and resulting in well, it will give me such the great accomplishment. Another important job for me was working in the auditorium, works including Marley floor placing, piano recording, and movie featuring, from front stage to backstage, every unpredictable moment trained me more astute.

I appreciated masterful performances and I would like very much to work in this field. I would like to combine my love of art with my talent for administration and develop my vocation. The United Kingdom has a wealth of resources from galleries to art and cultural venues that I can learn from. Hopefully, I could take part in local companies, galleries or NGOs to broaden my horizons and also help me to assimilate into different cultures; this can help broaden my perspective and I could bring my new ideas back to Taiwan. If I were accepted to study at your master's degree, after I graduate, I hope to bring Taiwan's artist out in the world and make buyers over the world know more about Taiwan and the hidden talent here.

Thank you very much for your time.
Scarlettwu 2 / 2 1  
Feb 11, 2016   #2
I think the essay is well written and I like the content. However, you might need to find a native speaker to revise it a bit for you.

I think the first sentence is a little bit lame and generic as an opening for your essay. You could talk about the school that you are applying to a bit at the end of the essay.

When you talked about your experience in Beijing, I think it might be better if you could make it more vivid. The way you describe it is a bit generic and too quickly to reach the conclusion without elaborating the issue. You could pick an incident or problem that you face, discribe how you analyze the situation and how you solve it and then come to the conclusion that you possess such such virtues... blah blah blah. You are trying to convince people not list out your shinning points like a shopping list.

Anyway, good job! My opinion is just my opinion given the my first impression of the essay :)
vangiespen - / 4,134 1449  
Feb 12, 2016   #3
Chi-Wei, you essay offers a tremendous amount of information, but it does not deliver on the preset questions that a Masters degree student is expected to answer. In all honesty, none of the information in your current essay tells me , using the eye of a reviewer, that you would succeed as a masters degree student in this field due to the many missing elements of your professional skills. That is of course unless you are applying for one of those master's degree courses that don't require any work experience. In which case, your essay is just guilty of being over verbose.

It would help your essay a lot if you could just summarize most of the content and try to concentrate on presenting your short and long term goals instead. That way, you at least show the reviewer the relevance of the MS degree to your future career and you can create a relationship between your past academic experience and your desire for a masters certification. The rest of your essay, relating to your "work experience" just needs to be shortened, taking the attention off your lack of related experience, so that your overall essay will seem stronger than it actually is.
OP eric41061 3 / 10 4  
Feb 12, 2016   #4
Hi, Yongyi
I was impressed with your description that the statement is just like a shopping list. And I agreed your idea, I just wanted to say anything good of my personalities, but not telling a fascinating story.

Sometimes, it's hard to rebuild a structure with a wise blueprint if you had used lots of lame materials, but I will try it.

Thanks, it was a very useful suggestion.
OP eric41061 3 / 10 4  
Feb 12, 2016   #5
Louisa,
What you said is very pertinent, I just need someone like you, standing away to see how the mess I was in, and giving me wise advisement.

I was too worried to show my abilities, and it's just like you said, guilty of being over verbose, I couldn't help but making it as very boring... but I am not sure how to present my short and long term goals.

I think I will rewrite another new SOP, maybe abstract the spirit from the original one, and then I will post it below this thread. The only thing I hope is that you could also browse it easily and give me some suggestions, with all my appreciation.

Thanks a lot, : )


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