Unanswered [5] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 2


Taking Initiative - UBC Personal Profile Admissions - What is important to you and why?


karenxmx 1 / -  
Nov 25, 2021   #1

Taking initiative is important to me



Many things are important to me, yet one that stood out to me was taking initiative. When I was younger, I used to be terrified of even just talking, because I feared humiliation and disapproval. Yet, by staying in my comfort zone, I was never able to progress as a person and lacked a sense of purpose. It wasn't until I attended high school, where I had set up a goal to grow and challenged myself to be more open. After hearing complaints about the school environment, I wanted to share not just my voice, but to create a safe space for accurate student representation. Through multitudes of failed presentations and meetings with the SD38 Board Trustees, this two-year-long process resulted in the creation of the Colts In Action management team at my school. Through this substantial experience, I learned that it is necessary to persevere and not be discouraged by failures and constructive criticism. Since then, I began to freely immerse myself in different experiences and share my thoughts, as well as grasp any opportunities presented to me.

Taking initiative is important to me because it continuously surprises and teaches valuable life lessons. By pursuing a variety of experiences, I can constantly improve and achieve a fulfilling life.

Thank you in advance for any comments and criticism. Have a lovely day!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,835 4782  
Nov 26, 2021   #2
There is a problem with your claim. While you did take the initiative to make your voice heard and I believe that you did meet with the board to make your thoughts heard, the changes that occurred did not happen just on your inititative alone. Rather, a team was created to make this project a reality. That is what you failed to clarify in this essay. A single person alone cannot make all of these changes happen. It requires a team effort. So, while taking the inititiative to start the project was present, the fact that it was a shared effort was misrepresented. Based on what you shared in the essay, the reflection of teamwork and shared initiative are important to you. These go hand in had when you review your statement. One could not have happened without the other. I would suggest that you revise the essay to reflect both teamwork and inititiative as important to you in a related manner. It would make more sense and strengthen your claims.


Home / Undergraduate / Taking Initiative - UBC Personal Profile Admissions - What is important to you and why?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳