It's my common app essay and I'm talking about a topic that's quite dear to me. I want to know if it's a good topic and will it stand out?
Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma - anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
hierarchy between the urban rich and rural poor
Reaching out to the tech-impaired and rural population of India and helping them become more independent in our technology-dependent world.
When I was young, I remember my father brought home a flip phone for the very first time. Looking back at it now, I'm surprised at how fascinated I was with that small piece of medieval technology that seemed legitimately alien to me. Now that it's 2017 and technology has taken over the world, I look back at that small device fondly. Today, it makes me think about the people and entire societies out there to which technology, that is a daily convenience to us, is still Martian. All they know of is that a certain "computer" does a lot of fancy stuff.
It is pretty evident from the rural areas in India that they lack the luxuries we call needs. When I visited a farm in Haryana, I had to book a train ticket back but searching for internet connectivity was equivalent to searching for a needle in a haystack and to my luck, I never found it. It took me about an hour to get a train ticket which could've easily been avoided had I found a network. But it was only an hour for me. The inhabitants of these areas waste hundreds of hours on a number of activities which can easily be performed by the push of a few buttons.
The massive gap that exists between our modern society and those that are deprived of technology is slowly being bridged. But it's happening in a pace and manner that is not convenient or comfortable to them. Most endeavors to introduce different technologies to rural areas are biased to the urban population, putting everyone else at a disadvantage. The aspirations that thrive in those areas may be quite similar to ours, but they differ significantly in aspect. One can't expect people to acclimate easily to gadgets that are completely foreign to them.
After my education, I would like to work with technical outreach programs and introduce technology to provide solutions for the rural masses to enable them to have efficient utilization of their resources. But one of the biggest problems with this technology is compatibility. Till now most of the technology has been introduced by the west. They have been taken up in urban areas and filtered down to rural areas. Since the rural conditions are unique, they also require unique solutions. Suppose a farmer, who was deep in debts, had the option of accessing more information about how to deal with his situation, communicate with people that could provide him money in exchange for services, and maybe sell his cattle online, all through an app. So, to attract consumer attention, there is a need to develop technology specifically for rural areas. As long as these technologies are backed by good sales, are convenient to use and are reasonably priced, they will spread rapidly. So if technology is to be an enabler, it has to first reach the masses.
Having been born in a country as underdeveloped as India gave me a basic understanding of how the hierarchy between the urban rich and rural poor works. I wish to strive to make that distance smaller, through and with technology. Even though I do not understand what it feels like to be handicapped and removed from more advanced societies, I wish to work hard in the best and most nourishing environment possible and go back to my roots to help the people who need it.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Rachit, leave the FB and Twitter slang at the door. Terms such as "medieval" and "Martian" have no place in an academic essay. Instead, replace those words with "early technology" and "unfamiliar to those in under developed areas". I know that your English vocabulary is influenced by slang words that you pick up from English television shows and social media. Remember, just because Hollywood and social media use the terms does not mean it is an acceptable term in academic circles. The terms that you used are very insulting to the reader because it shows a lack of respect for the very sensitive topi that you are discussing.
Even with those little lexical mistakes though, you have chosen a very impressive problem to try and solve. However, you make it sound like you can resolve the whole situation by yourself, which is not the case. Therefore, it is important that you revise the last part of the essay regarding the solutions to include, not only your software app, but also the contributions that the national and local government have to make in order to bring the internet to the backwoods of India.
Additionally, it is not proper of you to demean your own country by saying it is "underdeveloped". As everyone knows, India is developing as a nation, just not as a rate similar to its counterparts in some instances. Therefore, the correct term to use for describing the country is "Having been born in a developing nation..." Then say that you will go back to work with tech developers and the government in increasing the internet access of currently dead spots in India.
salam rachit, i have read your essay. actually i'm still learning on how to make good paragraph and also good correlation about it. but when i was read your essay it is naturally can be understand well. i'm addicted to your writing that really fluent. i wonder someday i also can be like you to write even one essay. i also read the comment that some of contributor ask to forbid use informal word, i don't know exactly to what extent you write it. so i will not comment about that.
the essential thing i ca suggest you in your essay is you cannot directly to judge your country as the underdeveloped, it is not good. just try to find another polite word to describe it. thank you ^^
