Tasty,academic cuisine to feed my insatiable appetite for psychology; Smith Transfer

I am a transfer applicant trying to make it from a completely nothing school to smith. Is that even a possible transition? In this essay the question was "What specific aspects of Smith College will better meet your academic goals?" What do you think? Please be specific! And I know I'm horrible with punctuation and syntax so any criticisms in those areas are very needed!

The Smith Psychology department consists of all of the tasty, academic cuisine I require to feed my insatiable appetite for psychological studies. Smith offers such a large number of research opportunities that would provide me with the firsthand learning experience I need to successfully embark on the future endeavors of a career in Clinical Psychology. To be able to perform research on the effects of frequent jet lag with a woman like Mary Harrington, who has contributed to the Psychology publications I have spent so much time reading, would be like being an actor in the 1940's and having Humphrey Bogart as my mentor. At Smith, not only would I get to experience learning in a classroom setting from the best and the brightest in the field, but I could also have regular one-on-one discussions with them on the topics of their expertise. I could actually sit down and confer with a man like Randy O. Frost that literally wrote the book on compulsive hoarding. Additionally, I could be absolutely confident that, after learning under the challenging and rigorous conditions that Smith supplies, I will be completely equip with the necessary tools to successfully perform in a real-world setting that involves having a patient's mental health resting in my hands.

Hello

This is a great start, but you do not exactly hit the nail on the head. The "Key" to a really great transfer application is to show the adcom that you "Need" to transfer there. By that I mean that you need to show a lacking at your current institution that the new one will fulfill. For you, this could easily be a broader range of courses and as you have said - greater research opportunities. You need to clearly spell this out in your essay. -Admissions Advice Online

Hope this helps.