Please critique and comment. Thanks.
Explain why you have listed this individual as a teacher of influence.
"A teacher's greatest joy is seeing his/her students have success." These are the first words that came out of the mouth of Mr. James Glennon on the first day of class. A man who can be considered ancient, with his white hair and thick rectangular glasses stood in front of the classroom with a commanding presence. At first, he was frightening to me, but in the coming days I noticed his personable character.
Not all students come to school excited to learn, but Glennon is the type of teacher that has the ability to make his class not only exciting, but memorable. Having taught for over forty years, he is still able to find the joy in teaching and remains as enthusiastic as ever about the topic he teaches. His excitement about the subjects rubs off the students and makes the class fun and easy to understand. Not only did I learn more in one quarter from his class than I learned in my first few years of high school, but I was able to improve in all my other classes. He truly cares about his students and whether or not they succeed, making me want to succeed.
The influence that Glennon had on me in the period that I know him is much greater than any of my other teachers. His passion for teaching can be seen in every single lesson, making me excited to attend and learn everyday. Coming to class and witnessing Glennon's passion inspires me to seek the same kind of passion in my life. He is more than just an inspiration; he is a mentor who taught me the importance of education and balance in order to succeed. Glennon has become the teacher that I admire and will probably always remember.
Not all students came to school are excited to learn, but Glennon is the type of teacher that has the ability to make his class not only exciting, but also memorable.
Having taught (what or whom?) for over forty years, he is still able to find the joy in teaching and remains as enthusiastically as ever about the topic he teaches.
Coming to class and witnessing Glennon's passion inspire me to seek the same kind of passion in my life.
overall, you should pay more attention on the verb tense
My first thought is that you need to add one sentence to the end of the first paragraph. It should be a sentence that captures the central meaning of the essay -- the thesis statement. Let this sentence by the seed at the center of your essay, the fundamental message to the reader.
The influence that Glennon had on me during the period that I know him was much greater than those of any of my other teachers. His passion for teaching...
A specific anecdote showing how Glennon showed inspirational passion in the classroom would make this essay much more interesting. Maybe you could recount a time when he was able to motivate students to take an interest in a topic that they would normally find dull.
I'm a little confused on what tense you are speaking in (present tense or past tense). You seem to be going back and forth between the two, but you should choose one and stick to it. Otherwise, your response sounds good. One more suggestion: the last sentence will be a lot stronger if you take out the word "probably."
but Glennon is the
adress him fully like Mr. Glenon
I dont know if this specific essay has a word limit but if not then maybe you want to write about a specific experiance and go into detail how he inspired you even more ( make it interesting! and make us all jealous why we dont a have teacher like Mr. G) =)
Good luck
