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Teaching mathematics; - PERSONAL STATEMENT


ammarrauf 4 / 5  
Sep 29, 2007   #1
greetings

I am sending you my final personal statement.please edit it.and identify any monotonous area.or any point which is invalid.i wud request u to phrase some sentences for my sports achievement in cricket and my fitness training course.shud i include these points and where shud i include them.please phrase some sentences for me regarding this topic.

PERSONAL STATEMENT

The application and significance of mathematics in every discipline of life from space sciences to managing daily experiences is what fascinates me the most. Its complexities and logical implications further aroused my profound interest in this subject. Solving complex mathematical problems give me infinite joy and immortal satisfaction. I believe that this passion has instilled in me logical, coherent and realistic thinking skills. Applied mathematics is what I have aimed for myself. My ultimate desire, to design mathematical models, has inspired me to apply for the courses of engineering, Actuarial Sciences and Operations research. I believe that each of these courses will eventually pave my way and fulfill my desire

My choice of diverse subjects at the A Level, has strongly supported my desired goals. Chemistry Physics and AS Biology has helped me broaden my depth of logical awareness. Economics is one subject of social sciences which complements my other subjects of interest, i.e., Maths and Physics. I am deeply involved with these three disciplines. Physics has equipped me with logical awareness, Math has enabled me to develop an abstract mode of thought and thinking ability, whereas, Economics has taught me an analytical approach to tackle distinctly organic and complex concepts. This triangle has intrigued me so much that I see my future revolving around these three fields

I am currently enjoying further Maths study. Though my college is not offering this subject, it is purely my love and obsession for this subject that has persuaded me to make an exceptional effort to study it on my own. This is a unique experience for me and has given me a valuable chance to develop extraordinary problem solving skills and dexterity in handling practical problems.

I always believe that those of us who are privileged, both with respect to talent and abilities, are obliged to contribute on a larger scale. My efforts to establish a mathematical society for the first time was a step in this direction. I arranged mathematical contests for the students of different levels and participated myself in the National Mathematical Olympiad, held in 2006. Being an active member of T.N.S Mathematical Society, I attended many seminars which added to my knowledge of theoretical and practical aspects of applied mathematics.

I never thought that teaching mathematics could be so satisfying, until I experienced teaching remedial classes of O and A levels students. Considering my strong conceptual base and communication skills, I was appointed as an assistant to the professor of mathematics. This was altogether a new experience because it provided me information about some totally new aspects of Mathematics

Active participation in a variety of activities has enhanced my self-confidence and helped me to LEARN MORE ABOUT MY ENVIRONMENT.One such activity was my internship with the Women Aid Trust this year.It was a gratifying experience to help poor and distressed women in rehabilitation.The other significant land mark in my student life so far has been holding the posts of the G-SEC of the student concil in 2007 and the president in 2007.In these capacities,I brought into lime light some of the basic problems the students had been facing and was sucessful in getting them solved.My most memorable contribution was to organize a Model United Nations involving 20 different schools of Islamabad.This was a ocasion which i luckily utilized to learn leadership,organization skills,crises resolution and event management.

I was chosen by my school as the Head Delegate of the School Links Program organised by the British Council. My participation in this program ignited my interest in British education and, with my experience with the GCE O level and A level programs, I feel confident to apply for the undergraduate programs at the leading British universities.

I look forward to the challenge of designing mathematical models and other applications of mathematical knowledge in my career. I believe that the wide spectrum of curriculum and highly supportive faculties at the top class British universities will help me to excel.

EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Sep 30, 2007   #2
Greetings!

You've written a very good essay. I just ran it through a spell-checker and made a few other corrections.

The application and significance of mathematics in every discipline of life from space sciences to managing daily experiences is what fascinates me the most. Its complexities and logical implications further aroused my profound interest in this subject. Solving complex mathematical problems give me infinite joy and immortal satisfaction. I believe that this passion has instilled in me logical, coherent and realistic thinking skills.
OP ammarrauf 4 / 5  
Sep 30, 2007   #3
greetings
sarah can u plz help me with some ending.and also please notify that shud i improve the vocablury used in the personel statement or is it fine.

thank u
EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Sep 30, 2007   #4
Greetings!

I think your vocabulary is just fine! You need to have at least three sentences in your last paragraph. I'd move this sentence: "Active participation in my school life has also been rewarding for me. I was the General Secretary of student council in 2005 and the president in 2007." up to either the paragraph above it, or the one above that.

Your conclusion should essentially restate (in slightly different words) what you said in the opening here: "My ultimate desire, to design mathematical models, has inspired me to apply for the courses of engineering, Actuarial Sciences and Operations research. I believe that each of these courses will eventually pave my way and fulfill my desire." You might say something about how you are looking forward to attending that school and those courses which will allow you to achieve your goals.

Once you have it written, I'd be happy to edit it for you!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP ammarrauf 4 / 5  
Oct 1, 2007   #5
Greetings
thank you for assisting me.i want to take your advice about the ending of the statement.i have worked in a NGO shud i include this.i also have been also a part of the school links program by British council.shud i include this too.and can u phrase a suitable ending fror me
OP ammarrauf 4 / 5  
Oct 1, 2007   #6
greetings

i was facing som difficulty in the composition of my essays.i have to write pg 217 of my 300 page biography.can u give me an idea on which i can write.let me tell u that i am applying for acturial sciences.i want to write such an essay which can impress the examiner.

thank u
EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Oct 1, 2007   #7
Greetings!

I'm not sure what an "NGO" is, but if it is important for your studies, you should definitely include it, as well as the school links council, if that is something which demonstrates your knowledge, involvement, character, or other attributes which reflect positively on you.

Your conclusion should look something like this:

I look forward to my future and the challenge of designing mathematical models and other applications of mathematical knowledge in my career. I believe that the excellent curriculum and teaching staff of [insert name of university] will help me to achieve my goals and will be grateful for the opportunity to prove myself in the rigorous scholastic environment you provide.

If you can think of one more sentence for the last paragraph, that would be a good idea, to make sure it's long enough.

For your autobiography, I would suggest writing it as if you are in the middle of telling a story about something that happened (will happen) during your illustrious career as a mathematician. Perhaps you are receiving a special prize for your research, or one of your creations. By asking for page 217, they are wanting something that shows what you hope to achieve farther down the road, when you are well into your career. Give it some thought, and see what you come up with.

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP ammarrauf 4 / 5  
Oct 2, 2007   #8
Greetings

thank you for your assistance,with your help i have written the ending paragraphs.i am sending them.i want a favour from you,please edit my writing and mark any details which are irelevent or are repitition.my whole document exceeds the word limit.so please guide me what to exclude.the block letters need to be rephrased

thank you

here it goes

// removed //
EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Oct 2, 2007   #9
Greetings!

I'm glad to help!

Active participation in a variety of activities has enhanced my confidence in my abilities. One such activity was my internship with the Women Aid Trust this year. It was a gratifying experience to help poor and distressed women to rehabilitate their lives. In addition, I held the posts Student Council G-Sec in 2007 [should this be 2006?] and President in 2007. In these capacities, I brought to light some of the basic problems the students faced and was successful in resolving them. My most memorable contribution was to organize a Model United Nations involving 20 different schools in Islamabad. I used my skills to teach leadership, organizational skills, crisis resolution and event management.

I was chosen by my school as the Head Delegate of the School Links Program organised by the British Council. My participation in this program ignited my interest in British education and, with my experience with the GCE O level and A level programs, I feel confident to apply for the undergraduate programs at the leading British universities.

I look forward to the challenge of designing mathematical models and other applications of mathematical knowledge in my career. I believe that the wide spectrum of curriculum and highly supportive faculties at the top class British universities will help me to excel. My background will allow me to prove myself as a student in the outstanding research facilities and rigorous scholastic environment provided by the British education system.

I don't know how far you are over your word limit, but I tried to cut it down where possible. I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Oct 9, 2007   #10
Greetings!

I think your essay is shaping up very nicely. It's a little difficult for me to write the sentences about your cricket and fitness training without knowing more details, but I'll try. You might want to say something like "As much as I love mathematics, I do make time for other things, such as playing cricket and fitness training. I believe it is important to be well-rounded, and physical health is important."

Here are some other editing tips:

Solving complex mathematical problems gives me infinite joy and immortal satisfaction.

I brought into lime light - You need to either say "I brought into the limelight" or "I brought to light"; it is not correct English to say "I brought into lime light"

This was an occasion on which I was fortunate to be able to learn leadership, organization skills, crisis resolution and event management.

Best of luck in your studies!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com
OP ammarrauf 4 / 5  
Oct 12, 2007   #11
Significance of mathematics ; 'Emphasise any skills' - L.S.E statement

There are several questions which should think about before you start writing your personal statement:
...

greetings

u have studied my personal statement.can you please relate my personal statement to the above questions and guide me if i have not covered any of the question in my statement.please help me with the questions i have missed

statement

[...]

Active participation in a variety of activities has enhanced my self-confidence. One such activity was my internship with the Women Aid Trust this year. It was a gratifying experience to help poor and distressed women in rehabilitation. The other significant land mark in my student life so far has been holding the posts of the G-SEC of the student council in 2005 and the President in 2007.In these capacities,I brought into limelight some of the basic problems the students were facing and was successful in getting them solved. My most memorable contribution was to organize a Model United Nations involving 20 different schools of Islamabad. This was a occasion which I luckily utilized to learn leadership, organization skills, crises resolution and event management.

I was chosen by my school as the Head Delegate of the School Links Program organized by the British Council. My participation in this program ignited my interest in British education and, with my experience with the GCE O level and A level programs, I feel confident to apply for the undergraduate programs at the leading British universities.

I look forward to the challenge of designing mathematical models and other applications of mathematical knowledge in my career. I believe that the wide spectrum of curriculum and highly supportive faculties at the top class British universities will help me to excel.
EF_Team2 1 / 1,709  
Oct 13, 2007   #12
Greetings!

I think you've done a very good job of answering most of the questions, with one exception, which I'll discuss below. Here are some editing suggestions:

Solving complex mathematical problems gives me infinite joy and immortal satisfaction.

My choice of diverse subjects at the A Level [delete ,] has strongly supported my desired goals.

I am currently studying further math.

This was an occasion which I luckily utilized to learn leadership, organization skills, crises resolution and event management. - This is a sentence which I believe I have suggested changes on before. It still is not good grammar to say "luckily utilized to learn"; you could say "an occasion on which I was fortunate to be able to learn..."

I believe that the wide spectrum of curriculum and highly supportive faculties at the top class British universities will help me to excel. - This sounds rather as if you don't care which university admits you, as long as it is one of the "top class British" ones. That's not what the individual school wants to hear. You have also not really answered the question "Why should we choose you over the other 19,000+ applicants who apply to LSE?" Try to make this part a bit more specific to that particular school.

I hope this helps!

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com


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