"a Team-Player", Boston describe me in 3 words.

Most people who know anything about me will tell you three main defining characteristics: I am an athlete, I stop at nothing to achieve, and that I always seem to know things that are "beyond my years." Yet, if I would condense that to three words, I would say: Team-Player, Passionate, and Seasoned.

Our school basketball team has a saying, "Always play UP to the competition." Do not play poorer against opponents of less talent, and always play better against teams of more talent. However, this saying was already part of me before my coach put it in words. As an athlete I am always up for a challenge and in any sport teamwork is what wins games. I am a TEAM-PLAYER. I know the value of working together to achieve a common goal. In my four years of high school basketball the games that stand out the most to me are ones where I worked with my team to crush the opponent.

I like to hold this same value off the court. I never let the difficulty of a task hinder my initiative. Whether it is fixing a broken item, or completing the only "unsolvable" math problem in class, when I designate a time to do something I will not stop until I complete it. Some call this "stubborn." While I can see why they say this, I must respectfully disagree. "Stubborn" holds a negative connotation. I am Passionate. There is nothing negative about keeping to a task. My mother always tells me about the first time I portrayed this. I was about nine years old and had just received a tabletop train set for Hanukkah. As I opened the box I began to see metal screws, wood panels, and about 50 pieces of what was to be constructed into a train. I might as well have been building a house. My mother said, "Read the instructions." I refused. I sat for hours upon hours fitting pieces that logically fit together. Again my mother said, "Read the instructions." I was determined. Two days later I was playing with my trains. The instructions were in the garbage.

From just kindergarten I have always had older friends. It is not that I do not like others my age. I just naturally have older friends because I like to learn from older people. In sports one will never get better without playing with better people, so too in life. I feel I will never get ahead without surrounding myself with more experienced people. Why should I make the same mistakes others have made when I can just use their mistakes to my advantage? Others experiences become my experiences. That is why I like to consider myself Seasoned. I have an assortment of knowledge on matters I have not even engaged in yet.

I cannot wait to take full advantage of BU's diversity. As a Team-Player I will work with other students to accomplish assignments more efficiently. I would like to participate in intramural sports and absorb the myriad of student skills on campus. Furthermore, I can make a difference on the student government. I am eager to help and know I will be a great asset. My Passion will be of aid to other students in or out of class. I want to strive to do something beneficial for present and future students. In any task I embrace I know I will push to maximize its potency. My Seasoned mind will bring even more diversity to BU and my experiences will have great impact on the student body. The opposite is true too. My brain is like a canvas and at BU there are so many colorful people. The representations they paint of themselves will mix with colors that are already there to create new ideas that would not have surfaced without my presence.

Most people who know anything about me will tell you three main defining characteristics: I am an athlete, I stop at nothing to achieve,

As an athlete I am always up for a challenge and in any ____ teamwork is what wins games.
I think you're missing a word there.

Whether fixing a broken item, or completing the only "unsolvable" math problem in class, w hen I designate a time to do something I will not stop until I complete it.


I really like this part!

In sports one will never get better without playing with better people, the same is true in life.

Why should I make the same mistakes others have made when I can just use their mistakes to my advantage?

thank you so much!! any thoughts on a way to narrow it down to 500 words?

awesome essay
correction:
I designate a time to (change this to) when I am designated with a time
okays;)

You can make it shorter by taking out this part. It is so much bragging! Bragging is never very impressive.

You can just name the three words, and then explain them.


Oh, ha ha, so you might be stubborn, but we'll call it passionate and capitalize passionate to affirm that you are passionate instead of stubborn? No, I think this essay is full of too much telling and not enough showing.

It is important for you to get critical with yourself. Tell them you first thought to write that you are a Team-Player, Passionate, and Seasoned, but then tell them you reconsidered, reflecting on your shortcomings. Tell them you figured out that winning is not everything and that you would now describe yourself as "confused, curious, and enthusiastic."

Well, you know what I mean. Something humble.