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Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it - MIT ESSAY; BUSY LIFE AND ACTIVITY


jagdeep5171 3 / 7  
Dec 14, 2014   #1
I am a traveller, I love travelling to places and it really gives me a lot of pleasure. But I am really confused about how to put this in words. I mean I have the points I know I can put in my answer but still I am really confused about the words and way to put it on. Any help sorting it out would be highly appreciated. Any critics and suggestions would also be thanked. Thank you in Advance.

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

Travelling alone- this gives me escape from my own world
Travelling to different cities really gives me pleasure and happiness.
India has a diverse culture so while travelling I can experience the diversity
I love to interact with new people. See their culture, language, dressing.
[...]
hunhann 6 / 23  
Dec 14, 2014   #2
"Life now is busy. People have their own ways to enjoy themselves. To me and others people, travelling is the best way to relax after a studious time of doing things. I love the new things which given simply by going round the cities by myself..."

Then you continue to write next paragraphs about things you have written above. Each paragraph for each idea.
OP jagdeep5171 3 / 7  
Dec 14, 2014   #3
thanks for your help

but i am really concerned about word limit... its just 100 words...
FullofSeoul 3 / 18 3  
Dec 14, 2014   #4
Don't stress over this. If it's 100 words, there's probably a larger essay that is worth more attention. This short essay is more for the admissions committee to guage what kind of person you are and attempt to glean a bit more about your personality.

First: Attempt to write 120 words. It's always easier to slowly cut away that to attempt to make up more. Your essay is currently 45 words. That's 55 words that could have been put to use, especially because of this essay's briefness.

Be straightforward. There isn't any room for anecdotes, narratives, or long explanations like in the Common App essay. Tell me what you like (Travelling, obviously), why you love it, some examples of your experiences (it'd be best if you narrow it to one special trip), and if possible, what you learn from it.

That gives you around 25 words for each. That should be plenty.

At the very least, try first. Don't get intimidated by the brevity of the prompt.

Wishing the best,
FullofSeoul.
admission2012 - / 477 90  
Dec 14, 2014   #5
Hello,

Every essay is important, especially for a school like MIT. With that being said, this essay should be used to give the adcom some insight about you that is not shared elsewhere in the application. So if you mentioned that you love to travel in one of your other essays or in the activities section, writing about it here will be redundant. Talk about something that genuinely interests you. Something that you would happily do if you had all the free time in the world. - Admissions Advice Online
OP jagdeep5171 3 / 7  
Dec 16, 2014   #6
HEY GUYS, I HAVE PREPARED ONE ESSAY BASED UPON YOUR SUGGESTIONS BUT I STILL THINK IT NEEDS MUCH EDITING AND I AM ALSO NOT SURE ABOUT THE LAST LINE. PLEASE SUPPORT

Agree it or not, our life is full of monotonicity. What gives me pleasure is to break this monotonicity and travel to different places. Travelling alone is my thing. I travel to different cities, through different towns and villages. India is a mosaic of cultures, races and creed. While travelling I can extend my knowledge of this diversity. Travelling is the time when I can relax, reflect and ponder. It helps me forget my daily stuff and give me time to introspect and grasp from my surroundings. On my travels I have seen the culture changing with every foot.
sage28 4 / 12 4  
Dec 16, 2014   #7
The essay you edited it good for the limited word count, but I have rearranged a few sentences to ease the flow of the paragraph, hopes this helps!

I believe life is monotonous. To break life's endless cycle of monotony, I travel, alone. I have traveled to different cities, met new people from each town and village, allowing me to truly experience my country. India is a mosaic of cultures, races and creed that fit together, and truly embraces diversity. Travelling is how I relax, learn and gain perspective. When I travel, I forget about my daily routines and instead have time to reflect and grasp new meaning from my surroundings. Completely immersing myself in diversity, through travel, allows me to change my mindset, and be happy.

This is just my suggestion of how you should edit the essay and still get your point across. Hopefully it is helpful!


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