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Temple University Transfer Essay- Back in Philly after 10 years


emmaeve 1 / 1  
Nov 11, 2012   #1
Imagine you have graduated from Temple University. You are preparing to attend your 10-year reunion, and the alumni office has asked you to write a one-page essay about your personal and professional accomplishments since graduation. What would yours say?

It's hard to believe it has been ten years since I graduated from Temple. So much has happened since then and I'm so glad I was able to transfer there. When I first applied to college I didn't really know what I wanted to do, but I knew I was interested in science and medicine. After three semesters at Stony Brook University I had discovered my love for chemistry. But even though all my classes were great and I was really interested in everything I was learning, I was unhappy at Stony Brook. The slow, sleepy pace of suburban Long Island wasn't stimulating enough for me. Fortunately, through a friend I met at Stony Brook who was from Pennsylvania, I got a chance to see Philadelphia for the first time. Wandering around a big city after growing up in a small town in Connecticut was a life-changing experience. The city was beautiful and I fell in love with it. Temple ended up being perfect for me, I learned so much in and out of my classes. After graduation I went on to medical school. It was hard work, but I was determined and I made it through. I wanted to see more of the country and moved out to California for a few years. I started practicing medicine there and really loved it. Being a doctor has been such an amazing experience and I love having the opportunity to help people. California was beautiful, although the change in weather took some getting used to. But, eventually, I started to miss the east coast. I ended up moving back to Philadelphia recently. I have a lot of friends here from my time at Temple and it's been great reconnecting with them. I'm still settling in but it's been great so far. I've just started a new job at Temple University Hospital that I'm really excited about. There's some wonderful research going on there and the other doctors I've met are very committed to the best patient care possible. I can't wait to re-explore the city. I'm busy with work, but I'd like to start doing some volunteer work soon. I've been thinking about going back to school and getting a master's degree or maybe a Ph. D in chemistry, but I haven't decided yet. For now, I'm just happy to be back in Philly and am looking forward to whatever adventure this city has in store for me.

Any general thoughts/suggestions? Also, I'm worried I wasn't specific enough about my accomplishments, should I try and add some more details?
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Nov 19, 2012   #2
But even though all my classes were great and I was really interested in everything I was learning, I was unhappy at Stony Brook.

Hmmmm.... that sounds a bit harsh and sort of letting down your former uni. Let's say that a bit more politely :D
I felt something was missing.

Temple ended up being perfect for me, I learned so much in and out of my classes.

... awesome : )

Very impressive writing : ) ... I like if you break it into a few paras.... just a thought and it is well done :)


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