Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


Temple University transfer essay? 10 year reunion?


tsalehx3 1 / 1  
Mar 24, 2013   #1
The topic is: "Imagine you have graduated from Temple University. You are preparing to attend your 10-year reunion, and the alumni office has asked you to write a one-page essay about your personal and professional accomplishments since graduation. What would yours say?"

They say that the best feeling in the world, is standing on the top of a mountain, and looking down at your journey, all you've climbed. I could not agree more. Life is like a mountain, you climb, and you climb, even more, until you get to the very top of satisfaction. I am finally at the top of my mountain, and I could not have a more beautiful view. During the climb, there were times when it was rocky, times when it was smooth, and even times when I thought I'd fall. Those were the worst, but instead of letting myself fall, I learned that you just have to hold on a little longer and grip a little harder, and that I was going to be alright, and I was.

I started my climb about 14 years ago. Right after I graduated high school, I attended Penn State University. That area of the mountain was filled with lions roaming around. They taught me how to survive in unfortunate circumstances and how to pounce at prey, or in my case, how to grab an opportunity before it is gone. I enjoyed by time there, but I learned that lions tend to stay in one area, and only move around when hunting. That may work for some people, but that wouldn't work for me. I've always been someone who constantly needs to learn and adapt to new situations. Being a Religious Studies major, with a minor in fine arts, sticking around one secluded area would drive me crazy... and ignorant in my studies. I knew there was more for me to learn. So after two years, I kept climbing.

On the second year of my journey, I was introduced to Temple University. My brother and cousins had attended Temple, as well. I noticed they were represented by owls and therefore, they were people of wisdom, knowledge and growth. They were exactly everything I ever wanted to be. Earning a degree is not just about what you learned in the classroom, it's also what you learned from life while you were earning an education. Temple University is located in a very diverse area of Philadelphia. What better way to learn religion and culture than to surround yourself with it? A religious studies degree would mean nothing if the only culture or religion you've experienced is your own. You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach trying to tell you something? Well, mine was telling me that these were my people and this was my home. I followed these owls, and transferred to Temple University. I could not have made a smarter choice throughout this whole journey.

10 years ago, I graduated with a Religious Studies degree, and a minor in Fine Arts from Temple University. That was my moment of glory. I was proud of myself and everyone around me was proud of me, as well. I knew with this degree, and carrying the proud name of Temple University around with me, this climb would only get easier. I opened up my very own art gallery called "The Owl's Treasure", selling and commissioning to people for any occasion. My main focus is religious art, so throughout the years, I have been working with Churches, Mosques, Synagogues, and Temples worldwide! I am already working on my second book, as my first one was a major success.

After reading my book or seeing my degree framed at my gallery, people often ask me if it's a coincidence that I earned my religious studies degree from a university called "Temple". My answer is always "no". A Temple is a place filled with knowledge, wisdom, experience and growth, and that's everything Temple University has given me. So, no, it's no coincidence. It's what some people would call "fate". I was meant for this. I was meant to be Temple made.
Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Mar 24, 2013   #2
I like the essay, and format-wise, you write very well. I especially liked the eloquence with which you create the mountain metaphor, but my issue was that while it was really strong in the first half, it disappeared by the end. Also, maybe by describing some courses or opportunities you know are at the school, you could elaborate on how Temple helped you learn better than Penn State did and how it helped you open up your art gallery.
OP tsalehx3 1 / 1  
Mar 24, 2013   #3
That's really good advice, thank you! You're really good at this!


Home / Undergraduate / Temple University transfer essay? 10 year reunion?
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳