Hi i just need some one to proofread, any suggestions or comments are more than welcomed!!
Topic:
In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.
Tennis has been a part of my life since I was fourteen years old. I started to play tennis as a way of getting some exercise and played for an hour a week. It was also my mom's idea to get me out of the house instead of sitting all day in front of the television and playing video games. I agreed with my mother and the next day I was running laps in the court. The drills were tiresome and made me exhausted. However I did not quit, but persevered.
As I grew older, I became more passionate about tennis and I join the school's tennis team, despite the fact that I served poorly during that time. I became so obsessed with playing tennis that I would be playing under the scorching sun of Thailand for more than two hours every day. I soon realized that tennis was not only about sheer physical power, but it was a mind game as well. I was not physically formidable, but I was mentally tough. This mental edge won me victories against players with intimidating body size. These victories kept me going and made me realize that it was not all about size, but about will power and the desire to win.
Tennis not only gave me exercise, but playing tennis has made me more ambitious, determined, and disciplined when trying to accomplish a goal. Tennis also made me more mentally enduring, keeping me strong during the difficult times of my life. This mentality would be beneficial for a person majoring in finance like myself, because the chance of losing profit could be devastating to some. However for a person of strong mentality, he or she will stay positive and find ways to regain profit and succeed.
The drills were tiresome and made me exhaustedexhausting a bit more parallel I think. . However I did not quit, but persevered.
As I grew older, I became more passionate about tennis and I joinjoined the school's tennis team
I became so obsessed with playing tennis that I would be playing under the scorching sun of Thailand for more than two hours every dayAre you from Thailand???? I am not sure where Thailand comes from
Tennis also made me more mentally enduring, keeping me strong during the difficult times of my lifeI think an example might help but I know your constrictions.
Otherwise good essay!!!
If you have the time I would be eternally grateful if you can look over my essay:
