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Texas App. Essay About Family


pinkpoodle 2 / 4  
May 17, 2010   #1
Essay A: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

When I first read this essay topic, I had no idea how to approach it. In fact, this essay is the last to be written of all of the college application essays I have had to write. I find this essay extremely difficult to write because, as I am sure a lot of others have found, it is extremely difficult to gauge the impact that the people in my life have made on me. Every person who I considered writing this essay about has, indeed, made a profound impact on my life. But who am I to say which has made the greatest? My life is not over yet. I have not yet met every person who will impact me as a person, and surely I have not yet seen or felt the full impact that the people I already know can bring into my life. So, for the purpose of this essay, I will discuss the small impacts that the people closest to me have made on my life.

My mother, presumably the first person I laid eyes on, has definitely had a deep impact on my life, solely for the fact that she gave birth to me. She has always been there for me in my life. She taught me right from wrong, and always helps me sort out the gray areas in life. I can talk to her about anything, and I will always be grateful for that. What she has taught me about morals and ethics will always be in my mind and in my life. I will never forget the impact she has made.

Another person who has had an immense impact on my life is my dad. From an early age, my dad taught me that laughter was important. He instilled in me the ability to take everything with a grain of salt. I believe that, because of my dad, I am able to accept criticism well, and not take everything so personally. My dad has definitely helped me to become a lighthearted person who knows when to take things seriously. My dad has made a huge impact because his lessons help to make life simpler and more fun.

Finally, my little sister has made a great impact on my life. She is always on my mind. Like my conscious, it is my baby sister who reminds me to make the right choice. The thought that I have a little girl who looks up to me always encourages me to do the right thing. In dealing with others, I try to treat people like I would like my sister to be treated because I only want the best for her. I want to do right by my sister. I believe that if I can do that, I will end up being a well-rounded, respectable person. And to be a respectable person - not a rich person, an extremely well-connected person, or a beautiful person - is on the top of my list of aspirations.

It is through the lessons and the mindsets that my mom, dad, and sister have instilled in me that I live my life. With their help, I strive to be a good person and a first-rate citizen. I believe that, so far, these people have made the greatest impact on my life and my decisions, and it is with these people that are truly important to me. My family is the group of people that I look up to the most, value the most, and love the most out of anyone I know. With my family in my heart and in my mind, I know I can succeed.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
May 17, 2010   #2
...it is extremely difficult to gauge the impact that the people in my life have had on me.
Every person who I considered writing this essay about has, indeed, made a profound impact on my life. But who shall I say has made the greatest?

My life is not over yet. I have not yet met every person who will affect me as a person, and surely I have not yet seen or felt the full impact that the people I already know, can bring into my life.

Like my conscience , it is my baby sister who reminds me to make the right choices .

In dealing with others, I try to treat people like I would like my sister to be treated because I only want the best for her. The thought that I have a little girl who looks up to me always encourages me to do the right thing.This is great!

I believe that, so far, these people have made the greatest impact on my life and my decisions, and it is with these people that are most important to me.
shalini singh 14 / 23  
May 17, 2010   #3
Hi

I think you essay is asking about a person who is most instrumental. You are telling about mother,father and sister. I think you should pick one of them, whom you think has influenced you the most. Discuss about influence you in whole essay that would be more impactful. i have written one essay similar to yours

Thanks
Logical_Fella_C - / 33  
May 18, 2010   #4
First off, the question asks you to write about someone who has made an impact on your life. Therefore, I think it'd be more appropriate to mention 1 person and go into details about how he/she made what kind of an impact. Try to think about specific pieces of advice this person gave you and/or interesting anecdotes to elaborate your point. This is pretty much what shalini singh mentioned already. The general remarks will not provide the admission officers with much insight.

Secondly, the intro is a bit too long and lacks in substance. The essay doesn't require you to pick the one that has made the most impact, so I don't think you should be too worried about making your choice, though I understand it's not always too easy to pick one. You can maybe sum up your feelings about this matter in a couple of sentences, but the intro, as it stands now, is too wordy and quite frankly, boring.

Lastly, I agree with EF_Susan that this part:

The thought that I have a little girl who looks up to me always encourages me to do the right thing. In dealing with others, I try to treat people like I would like my sister to be treated because I only want the best for her.

is great.

Maybe it'd be a good idea to expand from this you know, think about one of those particular instancies in which she really made you feel that way and so on.

Good luck with your essay!
OP pinkpoodle 2 / 4  
May 18, 2010   #5
Thanks guys :) I'm going to write a new essay that focuses on the impact my sister has had on my life and see what you think.


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