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Texas App. Essay About Open Mindedness


pinkpoodle 2 / 4  
May 17, 2010   #1
Essay B: Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Open Mindedness
One issue that I find important in today's society is the issue of open-mindedness. The fact is that open-mindedness is a characteristic that I do not see enough of in people, and when I think about the problems with society as a whole, I begin to really recognize the importance of having an open mind. A lot of the problems I see could be bettered or eliminated if people would open their minds to change and different ideas.

Living in Killeen, Texas (near the largest U.S. army base, with people from a lot of different places) for 10 years, I have experienced a lot of diversity. I have always tried to face diversity with an open mind, because one of the benefits of being open to different ideas is the eradication of prejudices. I try to be as open-minded as possible, and through this practice, I find that people no longer seem so different or bad when I look at them with an open mind. Any differences a person has will no longer have negative connotations when you take a look at the so-called "difference" from another point of view. Differences become similarities, and these similarities bring us closer together. When one has an open mind, prejudice is nonexistent.

I think the most amazing thing about having an open mind is that, when you have an open mind, limitless possibilities spread out in front of you. Instead of only being open to knowledge that confirms your beliefs, you are open to all kinds of knowledge, regardless of any kind of bias. You may not accept the knowledge as something you believe, but at least you are open to hearing about it. This is another way open mindedness can bring people together. When we are all educated, and can share our points of view on issues - though they may be different - we can gain so much from it.

Once you learn about other people's beliefs and ideas, you can begin to question your own beliefs to find who you are and what you believe in. Open mindedness is a characteristic that develops character. It involves acknowledging, but not necessarily accepting, and questioning, but not necessarily rejecting. In my mind, to be open-minded is to be sure of yourself and of your beliefs. When you are flexible in your beliefs and ideas, you can be flexible in your life and really become a citizen of the world.

Open minds not only open many doors to the world around us, but they help us explore what lies beyond the door with impartial eyes so that we may see the true beauty of it. This is why I believe that open-mindedness is a very significant issue.
shalini singh 14 / 23  
May 18, 2010   #2
Hi
Your essay has good content, usage of word at some places was not correct like bettered...
Try not to repeat sentence on and on.
at few places sentence or what you are trying to tell is not clear eg
Instead of only being open to knowledge that confirms your beliefs, you are open to all kinds of knowledge, regardless of any kind of bias. You may not accept the knowledge as something you believe, but at least you are open to hearing about it. This is another way open mindedness can bring people together. When we are all educated, and can share our points of view on issues - though they may be different - we can gain so much from it.

Once you learn about other people's beliefs and ideas, you can begin to question your own beliefs to find who you are and what you believe in. Open mindedness is a characteristic that develops character. It involves acknowledging, but not necessarily accepting, and questioning, but not necessarily rejecting. In my mind, to be open-minded is to be sure of yourself and of your beliefs. When you are flexible in your beliefs and ideas, you can be flexible in your life and really become a citizen of the world.

Try to make it more clear.
Good Luck
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
May 18, 2010   #3
You have lots of potential as a writer, for sure. You have beautifully constructed sentences, like this one:
I think the most amazing thing about having an open mind is that, when you have an open mind, limitless possibilities spread out in front of you.

I wonder if you know that your control over language and understanding of grammar better than most people can. Yet, this essay is a little too repetitive. You assert over and over the importance of open mindedness, but you speak only in very general terms, not giving enough examples.

I see that this could be about tolerance of other cultures, openness to new ideas, and many other applications of open mindedness. Here is my favorite sentence:

It involves acknowledging, but not necessarily accepting, and questioning, but not necessarily rejecting.

I suggest trying to get rid of a few instances of using the term "open-mindedness" because you repeat it over and over. Add a few more examples! :-)
OP pinkpoodle 2 / 4  
May 21, 2010   #4
Thanks so much for the pointers! :)


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