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Texas A&M entrance essay - my grandfather is one of the most interesting people


ericramon 2 / 2  
Oct 29, 2012   #1
MY essay prompt is as follows: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

This is my essay. Please make corrections or suggestions to make my essay better

When I think of people that have the greatest impacts in my life, a few people come to mind: my mother, my father, my uncle, and my grandfather, but I chose my grandfather because he is one of the most interesting people that I know, and he had to overcome many obstacles in his life. He came from the most humble beginnings, and successfully raised seven kids. All of his life he has been fighting adversities. The things the he has overcome show me that I can overcome anything that is thrown my way.

His story starts before he was even born, in early 1928. His mother walked from Monterrey, Mexico to San Antonio, Texas, to escape her abusive husband. She not only made this long trek, but made it while she was pregnant with my grandfather. When my grandfather was about three, she met and married the man that would raise and take care of my grandfather while he was growing up. His life was not easy while he was growing up. He had to drop out of school before the third grade, and start washing dishes to help his family. When he was fifteen, he and his father had to be migrant workers, so that the rest of the family can survive. He had to go for two years without seeing his mother, but did it because he loves and cares about his family.

In the 1950's he was in the army, and had to serve in the Korean War. This changed his life, and the way he looks at the world. Even though he had to work for everything he has, he considers himself so lucky because of the things he saw in Korea. He knows that people in America are truly blessed because of the opportunities they are given. He realized that if these people that are put through hell, and still find a reason to live, then he can take what he has and find a reason to have a great life.

When he finally settled down in Corpus Christi, Texas, he was married and had two kids. After eight years of marriage, she passed away, but my grandfather did not let it affect him and his children. He moved on and kept the family moving. Two years after his first wife passed away, he married his second wife who would give him six more children. While he was raising his children, he had to take a job as a truck driver in order to give his children the best opportunity to thrive. Sadly, on October 10th, 1986, his wife passed away from heart disease. He still had one child still at home, so he could not just shut down like many people do after a spouse passes away. He kept driving and did not retire until 1991.

As I was growing up, my grandfather was always a big part of my life. When I was three and four, he lived with us and would take me to Church every Sunday. He is the main reason that I go to church every Sunday. He showed my parents the St. Pius X parish, and that is where I started to grow and become the person I am today. My grandfather is a great role model, and he continues to be a huge part of my life.
ellisdee 2 / 4  
Nov 14, 2012   #2
Your grandfather seems like a strong man and I believe you made a good choice in the significant figure.

a few people come to mind: my mother, my father, my uncle, and my grandfather
Word count! I think you could probably do with reducing some of this and adding onto the significance your grandfather has played in your life.

His story starts before he was even born, in early 1928. His mother walked from Monterrey, Mexico to San Antonio, Texas, to escape her abusive husband. She not only made this long trek, but made it while she was pregnant with my grandfather. When my grandfather was about three, she met and married the man that would raise and take care of my grandfather while he was growing up.

This sounds more like you're talking about your great-grandmother rather than your grandfather. Although it may have played an important aspect in his life, it doesn't highlight the impact he has had on you.

And I think that's primarily the problem. This is more of a narrative, biographical essay than one which highlights the significance he played on your life.


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