Texas A&M Galveston Transfer Essay critique

There is something magical about the way a ship glides through the ocean waters. I want to become a part of that experience. Texas A&M Galveston will help me achieve that goal. By obtaining a Maritime Transportation degree from Texas A&M; one of the best in the country; I can achieve success. Knowing the faculty works hard to make their students achieve to their best abilities is a wonderful aspect for me. The intensive classes will challenge me to prove my best intellectual, professional and personal expectations for myself.

The best part of Texas A&M Galveston is the size of campus and student to teacher ratio. The classes are small enough to get the attention and detail needed to become a good seaman. The professors and wonderful people that I have met at the school are so knowledgeable that I take pleasure in learning from them. I am looking forward to the technology and simulators on campus that make it easy to perfect my skills before I venture onto a vessel.

I am the first one in my family to go to college and want to fulfill a dream of mine to do so at Texas A&M Galveston. My ambition and determination are qualities that I can add to your school. Housing one of the top Maritime Academies in the country I am confident that I will obtain great knowledge for my success in the maritime industry.

Right here you are using semi-colons in the way you should use dashes:

By obtaining a Maritime Transportation degree from Texas A&M -- one of the best in the country -- I can achieve success.

You could also just use commas.

Knowing the faculty works hard to make their its students achieve to their abilities full potential is a wonderful aspect for me (when you say aspect, you should say "aspect of XXXXX"... it should always be an aspect of something. In this case, you should write:

Knowing that the faculty...--------> is comforting to me.