Unanswered [29] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


Texas A&M - "Psychological Breakthrough"


Chrisjoochun 2 / 7  
Sep 22, 2012   #1
Topic A. (required)
Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

Psychological Breakthrough

Before the 5th grade, I never knew that it was unconventional to only have one parent. I lacked of education about the human anatomy and physiology, until I entered my last year of elementary school year. I had a tiny grasp about the reproduction system, but I reached an epiphany; two individuals were required to have produced me. Discovering this abrupt truth, I couldn't help but selfishly wonder where my father was and what accomplishment he had in store by leaving me. My mind was filled with rubbles of questions, assumptions, guilt, and sorrow.

Later that dismal afternoon, I decided to confront my mother about where my biological father (in my 3rd grade year my mother got remarried) was. Just running through the scenario and repeating those questions in my mind accelerated my heart beat to an unmatchable pace. Finally I said, "mom, where is my dad?" and with a look of disappointment and confusion she stared at me with her furrowed brows and pressured eyes. She glumly approached me and whispered me to sit down, but she didn't have to because at that moment I felt faint and blurred with all the blood slushing in my mushed cranium. She explained to me that seeing him would be impossible because "he is sleeping under the earth's cold, depressing soil". Then without a moments delay, she quickly looked down and walked in gloomy fashion out of the room. I didn't understand what she meant at that time, that he was "sleeping under the earth's soil", but how she left me with more questions left me restless.

With age comes knowledge, and with knowledge comes answers. During my middle school years I have finally deciphered the puzzling answer my mother left me with a few years ago. Discovering truths does not only grant happiness, I've learned this the tough way. It endorsed me with grief, heavy depression, and confinement within my own self. Socializing seemed impossible, because I could not endure the thought of happiness with the thought of my father's spontaneous death. Later on in my middle school years I've learned about divorce and listened to stories about how other adolescents experienced the grief of losing a parent, explaining how they would cherish the moments that they spent together and the difficult shift in lifestyle.

As the seed of maturity harmoniously flourished inside me, my mind also grew more eclectic and I've started rustling out of the grasp of depression. I interacted with others and learned where other forms of sorrow derive from. Intermingling with classmates by sharing experiences developed a brighter and more optimistic perception of life and forever forged a more promising future for me. The bonds I share with a tremendous amount of unique individuals are not forgotten, but cherished dearly and are engraved in my memories. The death of my father molded me into an incredible person with a strong outlook of the future.

Tragic events take place, but it is for us to decide if whether it will break us, mend us, or develop us. I collapsed under the dying truth at first, causing it to dictate my life fashion and prevented me from socially interacting with other member in this spontaneous, half demented world, but I was able to rip through the thorny holds of my desolating life style and advance with a grand life experience. Even though my deceased father was never able to physically support or conduct me through life's difficult and hindering paths, he taught me how essential growing up and conquering obstacles is more than anyone would be able to teach me.
Guest /  
Sep 23, 2012   #2
It's an amazing essay, you start it off as a narrative and then develop some sort of universal connection at the end. I don't think there really is much to change but maybe a couple of grammatical errors, which you'd be better off asking an English teacher to point out than me, haha.

Help with mine?!
OP Chrisjoochun 2 / 7  
Sep 23, 2012   #3
Thanks for the feedback! I'll read through yours and provide some as well.
If anyone else is reading my essay, feel free to comment about any mistakes or things that I did well! It would help me a lot.


Home / Undergraduate / Texas A&M - "Psychological Breakthrough"
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳