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Thermodynamics class - Brown ESSAYS

alex42 1 / 3 1  
Dec 6, 2018   #1

Open Curriculum at Brown

What do you hope to experience at Brown through the Open Curriculum, and what do you hope to contribute to the Brown community? (250-word limit)

While visiting Brown, I attended a thermodynamics class, not because of a burning desire to understand the Sackur-Tetrode equation, but because I wanted to experience my first STEM lecture taught by a woman. Through relatable analogies and jokes, Professor Palymore made a complex lecture completely understandable; the class felt like a literary analysis of thermochemical cells. Alicia, a Brown sophomore, commented on my Girls Who Code notebook and we discussed unintentional gender bias in STEM classes. She told me about her seemingly strange course load: thermodynamics, traditional Chinese medicine, public health, and a dance class. She didn't need to take those classes to fulfill a requirement-she took them because they interested her. The Open Curriculum meant Alicia didn't have to be an engineer, a dancer, or an aspiring poet - she could be all three. What will I become: an environmentalist punk rock drummer or a mathematical rock climber who dabbles in the theater? I've always reached beyond what was familiar, ending up with busted lips, a fear of pigeons, and an ability to tell which dollar tacos will give you food poisoning. As a member of the Brown community, I will be open about the challenges I have faced, and about the power we all have to overcome seemingly impossible obstacles and use them to our advantage. I will encourage others to look beyond themselves, their comfort zones, and even their own galaxies as they build their foundation for a life of exploration.

Holt - / 7,546 2001  
Dec 7, 2018   #2
Alexandra, you are not directly responding to the prompt. The reviewer could care less about the stem class taught by a woman of the experience of Alicia that made her enjoy her time at Brown. Those people are not the ones applying for admission through this essay, you are. Therefore, you must refer to your desire to experience a Brown education, a Brown student life, and the Brown community participant as an on-campus resident or off-campus resident who will be active in the extra curricular activities the university has to offer. The part of this essay that you can use, the part about:

As a member of the Brown community, ...a life of exploration.

needs to be strengthened because the foundation of your participation is weak. It is too hypothetical in presentation. Try to find out information about the Brown activities that you would be interested in participating in, what sort of participation can you contribute in terms of your skills, talents, or community organizer talents? Do you want to start your own organization? Do you want to join student politics? Do you wish to become a member of a certain organization? If yes, then explain why.

Unfortunately, you did not respond at all to the Brown Open Curriculum experience question. You will need to develop a highly specific personal response to that question that does not rely on the experience of other people or the teaching skills of a professor for a response. Think about why you feel like you will grow as a student under the Open Curriculum and discuss these potential development points as a response.

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