For my essay I wanted to do something different. I know that I'm black and I find it tiring and repetitive to talk about this.So instead I wrote an essay saying how I'm diverse.
The problems I have with my essay is its very simple. It doesn't have a wide use of vocabulary, but this is how I like to write my essays. It doesn't specify specific educational programs of the university, because I'm not sure what program I want to join. Also, I find the beginning of the essay maybe too harsh, but I feel that would show a counterargument.
Maybe if my essay is not good enough I would want to include my experience as an intern in Dominica, my father's native country. However, I would loose my purpose.
Please do critic my essay well. :)
Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.
I can remember from a tender age of 5, sitting in my grandmother's Pentecostal church, hearing the words "Being Gay is Evil." As I heard these words, I felt that my ears being contaminated with evil, hateful words from a person who was ignorant. As the pastor's speech went on, I turned to my grandmother and asked "Didn't Jesus say love your neighbor as yourself?" She looked at me with a bizarre look in her eyes and replied, " Jesus said to love God's children only, and these are not God's children." At that moment I remember being shocked that people could actually exclude someone because of their differences. The more the pastor's speech got more graphic and hateful the more I got disgusted. At that point, I wondered to myself, whatever happened to we are all special or that we we're all God's children. Did my colorings of different hands in my kindergarten class go to waste? I decided that they didn't and chose not to listen to my pastor nor my grandmother, but to listen to what Jesus said about loving everyone regardless of their differences. I've taken this message and lived it throughout my life.
From that day forth, I became an open-minded person who divulges on exploring various cultures and living for learning numerous traditions, philosophies, and religions. A great testimony of this is my love for Hindi music. Ever since eighth grade I've been obsessed with the bright colors, fun dance moves, and catchy songs of Hindi movies. I'm so well versed in these movies that you can find me singing along with the Hindi stars and even trying to dance like them, too. Even though the person who is next to me when I'm watching these movies may give me a strange look, I'm not embarrassed. I keep dancing even if it's in public. Since I am a good dancer, my friends who are Indian would ask me to dance with them and I haven't refused. I love to pretend that I'm Hindi star for one night, even though the people around me can clearly see that I'm not. My love for Hindi music and overall Indian culture has made me join the Asian Society in high school. While I did love learning more about the Hindi culture and watching more Hindi movies, I however was out casted in the club. While I do understand I'm not Hindi, I would have felt better if they were to accept me as a person who just loves their culture ands wants to partake in it. This could have made my love of Hindi become lost, but then my neighbor, who is Hindi, invited me to her daughter's wedding. As it is known, Hindi weddings are very long. Everyday I was invited to a new event and I enjoyed each one of them. My neighbor treated me respectfully and kindly. She showed me that someone from another culture could invite other people warmly and accept them into their culture without being racist. This is one of the reasons why I want to go to Rutgers.
I not only want to be around people who are different but I want to be around people who can accept people's differences. Being a Black American, I have experienced much racism in my life and I'm tired of being in schools and around people who exclude people because of their race. I want to be around people who think like me and can see past a person's sexual orientation and color. I want to be around people who love to hear more about other cultures and even my Jamaican culture. I no longer want to hear hateful words from people who are close minded neither do I want to be out casted because I'm not like them. From what I have read, Rutgers looks like a place where people are accepting and open-minded. The students seem like they are open to new things and people, like myself. If I was accepted I will contribute to your community with my wide acceptance of backgrounds and my experiences of learning and loving cultures.
honestly i think there is not enough pathos in this essay. Everyone says that the films with a dramatic end are the best one, just the same happens with the essays. you have to convince and so i think will be better to describe your feelings when you have racism problem, the anger, the fear and the rage. You described only the good side of your experiences, you have to describe the most difficult one in my opinion!! bye!1
