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The only thing I fear is fear itself- for the common application!! :)


allyferns2495 2 / 7  
Jul 10, 2013   #1
( free topic for the common app)

The only thing I fear is fear itself

My very first road trip was when I was just 5. My family decided I was now big enough to visit the zoo
with them; without bawling like most children do. Sitting strapped safely in the back seat of our car, our
journey began.

It took us a while to get to the zoo, but I sat there patiently waiting and humming to a song. When we
finally reached, I jumped out, unable to contain my excitement. The sights and sounds around were
overwhelming with children screaming and vendors selling ice- cream and cotton candy. After a long
wait, we finally managed to get in. The animals almost looked bored, dragging through yet another day
of visitors. The Lion looked most enthusiastic to impress the crowds that flocked around the enclosure.
Like most children I too was excited, standing on tip-toes trying to get a better look.

Suddenly I noticed a man striding across the lawn, he held something golden and furry that squirmed in
his hands; intrigued I broke away from the line towards him to get a better view. To my delight it was a
lion cub. He set the cub on the grass; I knelt down and began to pet it, letting it sniff and lick my hands,
feeling its soft fur beneath my fingers.

"Alysid!" my mother shouted in panic while my dad scrambled around looking for me. In no time the
zoo appeared to be in a greater chaos now than it was when we first walked in. Being totally engrossed
in the cub, I was oblivious to the fact that I was being called out. My contact with the cub was like
nothing IĆ­ve ever experienced before, the sharpness of its teeth and the softness of its paws; so
incredibly new and wonderful to the touch. I was more than happy to spend all afternoon with it.
A while later I felt someone gently touching my shoulder which made me turn around. Of course, it was
my mother, overcome with relief; she hugged the life out of me. I gently unwrapped myself from her
arms and pointed to the cub, wanting her to share in the joy I experienced with this amazing little
creature, playfully biting everything it could find. I leaned over, trying to get my hand in its mouth, to
see what the prick of its teeth against my skin would feel like.

Should I have feared the cub and run as far away as possible? I wouldn't have done anything differently
if given the chance again. This little encounter with something so small has made me realize that while I
am not entirely fearless, I do explore my surroundings and tend to take required risks necessary to
complete tasks on hand or even try something completely new. Even now, the fear of moving on with
my life in college and accepting a new family seems like looking at the fearful mane of a Lion not the
gentle face of a cub.
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 10, 2013   #2
My very first road trip was when I was just 5.

I did my very first road trip when I was just five.
I couldn't find anything to suggest for further improvement and I find this is very creative writing.... I like your unique style of presenting ideas and you cleverly create the scene in reader's mind. Good job and good luck!
OP allyferns2495 2 / 7  
Jul 10, 2013   #3
no criticism at all? :P why thank you for that! your honesty's appreciated! :)
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 10, 2013   #4
:D .... May be others won't agree with me and find I have sugarcoated you. So, be prepared for that too :D :D ...LOL
But, for me , I really like it and said it from my heart without any intention of sugar coating your writing capabilities ;)
It's a powerful idea and you've presented it with so much simplicity... that's why I said it's quite creative :D
Didgeridoo - / 306 191  
Jul 21, 2013   #5
The Only Thing I Fear is Fear Itself

I like the originality of your response. However, the point of the Common App essay is, first and foremost, to tell admissions officers something about yourself that they won't find in the rest of your application. After reading this, I can imply a lot about five-year-old you but nothing about you now. What are recentexamples of you taking risks and trying new things?
OP allyferns2495 2 / 7  
Jul 22, 2013   #6
hey! thank you so much for your response!! :)

I did mention that i was not completely FEARLESS in the last paragraph. this was just a small incident from my childhood that i am relating to my a current aspect of my personality, THE FEAR and the risk taking.
OP allyferns2495 2 / 7  
Jul 22, 2013   #7
i decided to tweek it a little bit :) let me know if its alright? just the last paragraph.

Should I have feared the cub and run as far away as possible? I wouldn't have done anything differently if given the chance again. This little encounter with something so small has made me realize that exploration in life is highly essential, right from the classroom and making friends, learning right from wrong to "fitting into" the bustling and demanding life of university. There is no text book in the world that would teach an individual this, one can only grow through personal experience and I am proud to have done just that. I have pushed myself to the limits of physical and academic performances, choosing rigorous programs in high school and travelling overseas on treks and community service. I have been successful and content each time, knowing I have explored my options, willing to take necessary risks and attempted completely new ideas. "You won't know until you experience it" they say, and I couldn't agree more.
USNAGoal 2 / 7 1  
Jul 22, 2013   #8
I like the last paragraph with the tweek, and i like how you finished that quote idea, always a good way to end!
OP allyferns2495 2 / 7  
Jul 23, 2013   #9
GREAT! :D so is this modification good enough?? or would i have to tweek it some more?


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