Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 5


I can't really think of any ideas on how to end this - FSU Addmissions essay.


Cayce726 1 / -  
Aug 16, 2009   #1
For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

I'm not sure if I'm on topic enough and I can't really think of any ideas on how to end this. Any suggestions?

Vires, Artes, and Mores. These three latin words paint us a picture of what it means to be a human being of great asperation. Vires signifies strength of all kinds; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits; and Mores refers to character, custom, and tradition. If you look at anyone who has made a lasting impact on our society then you will notice they prominently express one or more of these traits.

In my own life Artes takes a lead role in most of what I do. Mostly in the shape of music. Since the seventh grade I have set aside anything that might hinder me from reaching my goal of becoming the best musician possible. What started out as a dream of being in a drum core quickly started branching out into hopes of playing drum set in jazz, latin, reggae, fusion, rock, and metal bands. While I have been able to play and study with all these genres I still aspire to higher degree's of knowledge and understanding from these and some more cultural sounds. In my pursuit to experience as much music as possible I started listening to the more lyrical side of music and a single song has forever changed my life.

This Is Your Life by Switchfoot has the main chorus singing "This is your life, are you who you want to be?" and through these words I have been inspired to live life in a way that makes you ask "If I died right now would I have something to be proud of?" These lyrics supply me with the strength and character to live my life in a way that I am happy with because it makes me look at myself with a third-person point-of-view helping make myself more self aware.

Now I believe that Vires and Mores both connect in a way that makes them the base for moral values. To have strong morals you must have a strong belief system and a strong will to do what's right. And if you are mentally sound in these ways then Mores comes easy as you follow customary manners and define better character through self-disipline.
Liebe 1 / 542 2  
Aug 16, 2009   #2
These three latin words paint us a picture of what it means to be a human being of great asperation. Vires signifies strength of all kinds; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits; and Mores refers to character, custom, and tradition. If you look at anyone who has made a lasting impact on our society then you will notice they prominently express one or more of these traits.

^I read that part of your essay. I do not want to read any more. And I will not either.
It is bad enough that you have mispelt 'aspiration', it is worse that you could not think of a better way to start your second sentence (Seeing as how your first sentence just read the names Vires Mores and Artes) and it is even worse, when you decide to pretty much repeat the definition in the essay prompt in your essay response.

Please.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Aug 16, 2009   #3
Vires, Artes, and Mores. These three latin words paint us a picture of what it means to be a human being of great asperation. Vires signifies strength of all kinds; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits; and Mores refers to character, custom, and tradition. If you look at anyone who has made a lasting impact on our society then you will notice they prominently express one or more of these traits.

The problem here is that you are essentially recapitulating the prompt, forgetting that your readers know very well what Vires, Artes, and Mores are and that they have read hundreds, perhaps thousands, of essays on the topic. What Liebe rather unkindly expressed probably is, unfortunately, the sentiment an admissions officer would have upon reading your first paragraph. What you've got to do, instead, is jump right in with an anecdote or illustration of one of these virtues in your life.
fat_b 4 / 13  
Aug 17, 2009   #4
It will be better if you focus on one of the words instead of trying to discuss all three. Less is more in this case.

Focus more on Artes and your love for music. Expend on your 2nd paragraph by quoting some examples.
sad_an6el 5 / 9  
Aug 17, 2009   #5
As a committee, I do not need to read your essay to find the same definition of my school philosophy so your paragraph 1 should not be there. What I want to know is you and how you define it. So be playful and imaginative, don't be afraid to define it just as the way you see it.


Home / Undergraduate / I can't really think of any ideas on how to end this - FSU Addmissions essay.
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳