My suggestion :)
The person I admire is my father. Diligence made him the man I revered and admire most. My father works silently and hard day by day without complaining. Moreover, my father is a brave man, but his fears are very different, they revealed a lot about his bravery. As he grows older, his health condition worsened and his body becomes weaker, but all these things make him more persistent to support our family. In a word, diligence and bravery are the qualities that I immensely admired in my father.
Hello, I can help to assist you further. I want to give you a few more suggestions that will help you with your essay.
My father works hard
day by daydaily without any complaints about the tiredness he feels on his job. complaining about the tiredness that he has to refer in his job , he worked hard in silence .
I think you should change your tense. Here is a suggestion:
"Moreover, my father is a brave man, he does not seem afraid of anything."
I am going to make a suggestion for the first part of this sentence without changing your ideas:
"The only thing which he is afraid of is, trying to earn
he afraid of is how to earn more money to support the family because..."
The next sentence change betray to "meet". The following sentence, change admired to "admire".