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'Thousands miles from Tianjin, China' - UMich diversity


shaokunkaren 1 / 3  
Oct 7, 2009   #1
We know that diversity makes us a better university ï better for learning, for teaching, and for conducting research."
(U-M President Mary Sue Coleman)

Share an experience through which you have gained respect for intellectual, social, or cultural differences. Comment on how your personal experiences and achievements would contribute to the diversity of the University of Michigan.

In February 2008, I traveled six thousand miles from Tianjin, China to embark on a new journey at a local high school in Sydney, Australia. I looked forward to explore the new world, but I was also scared. A new comer always has to endure a torturing process to adapt to a different environment. The fact that I came from a foreign land would only make my situation worse.

My first day at school, however, turned out to be an unforgettably pleasant experience. During the first period, I was introduced to my new classmates by an amicable man, the Society & Culture teacher. I forced a wide smile to disguise my anxiety. Quite surprisingly, most of my classmates smiled back at me. 'Karen,' I heard the teacher, Mr. Webster call my name, 'why don't you tell us a bit more about your life in China? We're very interested to know.' I turned to face Mr. Webster, and found a big smile on his face too. Comforted by the encouragement, I made an impromptu speech that won an excited cheering.

The class spent the rest of the lesson discussing the distinct differences between Australian and Chinese culture. I was then inspired to create a platform for international and local students to conduct cultural exchange and reduce misunderstandings. I, together with two other friends, volunteered to be the school international student counselors to promote a harmonious multicultural environment in the school.

I now often feel the urge to meet different people, to embrace and appreciate cultural diversity like my classmates did on my first day of school. I will never forget the relief I felt to be accepted despite the cultural difference, and I will continue to promote diversity and bring cultural understanding to the University of Michigan.

1. The word limit is 250 but I've got 296 words, should I delete some sentences?
2. Instead of talking about how I respect others despite the differences I mainly talked about how others have treated me. Have I digressed from the question? Should I talked more about myself??

Thank you for ANY advice. I really appreciate your help! Thank u in advance!
dens420 1 / 6  
Oct 7, 2009   #2
if you are asking yourself should have have talked more about myself, you probably should try to talk about yourself more but that doent mean its bad you might want to add some personal stuff in place of something u feel can be removed,,, i think the length is good but it depends on the teacher.. they usualy dond mind if u go over a little bit
OP shaokunkaren 1 / 3  
Oct 7, 2009   #3
Thx for ur advice.
I tried to add some personal experience while i was performing the role of counselor but failed to come up with anything....
I've only been learning English for a short time so my language isn't that good, but I'll try to do better :)


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