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Three characteristics best describe me, how can they contribute to the college


tsungyuwu 3 / 12  
Dec 31, 2009   #1
Can someone give some suggestions? or edit it for me? I will be appreciated. Thank youuuu very much!

The three characteristics that describe me the best is caring, optimistic, and mature. All three of them can give a good contribution to Boston University and build a productive relationship with people.

People around me said I am a caring person. I passionately care about my friends and family. I like to talk to them about their life and truly hear their voice. I hear them out when they need someone to talk to and try to help them. I not only help friends and family, but also the community. I spend my weekends volunteering in the hospital to help out patients. I am happy to listen to patients' life story and they love talking to me. I will contribute to Boston University with my caring heart by caring for students.

Personally I think I am an optimistic person. My friends always question how can I be so calm and positive in this situation? I answer, "Why look at the dark side when there is a bright side to look forward to?" I see the best in people. I want to bring students in Boston University optimism. Optimism gives people reasons to look forward to the future with a sense of hope. I encourage people to look at things positively. When things bother people, I cheer them up with a positive attitude and remind them to look at the good part of life. I am usually someone most of my friends can turn to for advice. Also when things are not going the way you wanted, optimism will not allow the negative thoughts to get into your head.

I found that I am a very mature individual. I am independent. I am not afraid to try and willing to learn from mistakes. In life, maturity plays an important role in it. I have a very clear mind all time. I will help people out when they need me. I always try to foster success for my friends. With my maturity level, I will deliver positive knowledge and make a good influence to students at Boston University.

Not only these characteristics I have, I also have creativity, enthusiastic, honest, confident, and humorous. Each of these characteristics can be developed. With all the qualities I have, I am looking forward to contribute to Boston University.
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Jan 1, 2010   #2
You're a good writer, your essay is interesting, and your great personality shines through! Here are some things you could fix;

People around me say I am a caring person.

I like to talk to them about their lives and truly hear their voice.

My friends always question how I can be so calm and positive...

In life, maturity plays an important role. in it.

I have a very clear mind all the time.

Not only these characteristics I have, I am also have creative, enthusiastic,...

...I am looking forward to contributing to Boston University.
OP tsungyuwu 3 / 12  
Jan 1, 2010   #3
Thanks for your help :) It sounds better!
qomoco 24 / 107  
Jan 1, 2010   #4
your essay is great, 5 para really does the wonder here.

and I like your ending, it sounds you are confident that you will fit into BU

good luck!

can you read mine please


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