Hey guys, this is my first draft of the BU supplement. I answered it a bit differently than I imagine most people did. It is about 520 words so it will need to be shortened a bit. Let me know what you think. Thanks a lot!
In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.
Questioning. Everything. Always.
Saying I ask a lot of questions would be quite an understatement. I have a restless mind and do not believe I will ever stop asking them. The best way for me to illustrate this characteristic is to walk you through the thought process I used when preparing this essay. After initially reading the prompt, I immediately thought that the task would be a piece of cake. I broke out my thesaurus and started pouring through adjectives to best describe me. I came across several fancy and flattering words but after thinking them over, none of them seemed to be adequate. I further pondered the subject and started to think of past experiences I could draw from to help complete the task at hand. I had ideas running circles in my mind to a point where I needed to stop to clear my head to return to it later.
The next day, I read the prompt again with a fresh set of eyes and rejuvenated optimism. The question never stated anything about adjectives or examples for that matter so I stepped back to zero in on what the question was truly asking, the big picture. I came to the conclusion that the purpose of this task was to find words that allow me to stand out among a host of applicants. I thought of words that make me unique like snowboarding, guitar or fashion. While these words are accurate, they only describe activities that I enjoy and fail to describe me as a person. I asked myself, "why limit it to three separate words?" I chose to connect the three words and use them to describe one specific interest rather than vaguely touch on three.
There are several interests that come to mind which describe me well. The fact that I am a self taught guitarist and that I build computers are things that work well but I still had more ideas. I thought that the root of the essay should not be centered around how I view myself but how others view me. At the very moment I came to this conclusion, my blackberry began to vibrate with that ever so familiar buzz on my desk. A new message awaited me in my Facebook inbox, which quickly struck me with an idea. I figured it would suit me well to use this engine to assist in my plight so I asked my friends the question. After on entire day, the three words that rose to the top were funny, smart and laid-back. I felt these were nice but they were not exactly essay material, which led me to scrap the idea. It was a cool concept but the end result was not satisfactory.
I wondered if anyone else used Facebook to help complete this task. This is when it hit me. The most unique quality about me is not what I do or how others describe me, it is the way my mind works. I look at problems from many perspectives, research possibilities and choose the best solution. This is a skill that will allow me to excel as an engineer in a field of infinite solutions.
I don't think I'll ever stop
I decided to take a break and come back to it later [these words could be taken out or changed for less words
great approach, you incorporate more than just three, but it has a nice ring to it. However, taking out maybe one question statement...and "tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community."
Blackberry is capitalized.
Er. Biomedical Engineer just pops out of nowhere, but I think it's hard for everyone else too, to say what they want to be. I'm not sure, however, if you need to include that. Maybe mention in closing how you will ask questions in college to ____do something____. Ask :p
I love how you pulled in the essay at the end
Very creative.
thanks for the responses
anyone else?
I feel like your essay tells a story. I understand the point that you're trying to get across, but I don't think that putting in the bit about Facebook is going to help you.
I'm not exactly sure what the admissions ppl at BU are looking for in this supplement, believe me I gotta write one too, but I didn't get a real sense of who you are through this essay.
Try connecting more of how your unique way of thinking makes you stand out with a different topic.
Maybe, something that gave you an epiphany??
I thought the point was to "show not tell". I was trying to show my out of the box way of thinking through this essay experience. Anyways I rewrote it for grammar and whatnot, let me know if you like this version better.
I think this is an excellent essay! I love your rough draft. "Questioning everything always" seems a bit gramatically incorrect, but I understand why it's there and why you posted it. So far I really like it... I wish you didn't have to change anything!
"I look at problems from many perspectives, research possibilities and choose the best solution. This is a skill that will allow me to excel as an engineer in a field of infinite solutions." << Excellent!
Hi Conor,
Your approach to this essay is creative.
The thing I liked about your first draft was that you were ACTUALLY always asking questions. I thought it was intentional, although the general feel of it was rather messy and cluttered. Your second draft is a little neater, it tells us more about yourself, BUT it does not really support the claim you made at the start of the essay. It fits more into a "Thinking. Very. Hard." essay.
However, I don't really think that's the point of the essay in the first place. You've spent a bulk of your essay PROVING that you ask a lot of questions, but I think the essay requires you to devote more words to explain how you would CONTRIBUTE to the BU community. Being a good engineer is a good point, but you need to try and link it to how that would benefit BU to make your essay more impressive. Spend less time proving the existence of your characteristics, and more time talking about why BU would want you.
Do more research on BU. Find out what's in their community: the clubs, the programs, the people. Figure out how your characteristics will benefit them. You might want to change your 3 charcteristics if it will help you to do this more easily.
