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"I thrive in low oxygen situations" - Macalester supplement, why this college?


squidnips 1 / -  
Dec 5, 2010   #1
Thanks for the help. It is 520 words. There is no specific word count either.

What factors have led you to consider Macalester College? Why do you believe it may be a good match, and what do you believe you can add to the Mac community, academically and personally?

I thrive in low oxygen situations. Hiking 14,000 feet above the ocean in Colorado, mountain biking on the rim of the Grand Canyon, or free diving in the Caribbean are a few activities that give me the thrill to replace the oxygen that is usually required to keep my body running. So when I started looking at colleges I thought that only large schools would be able to give me the opportunity to pursue my quest for asphyxiation and that only schools with a large population would be able to offer me the diversity to find friends that would want to participate in similar activities.

So almost immediately I took all liberal arts schools off my list. However once I stopped thinking of colleges as a vacation, I realized that with 30,000 students I would not be able to interact with my teachers and professors in the same way that helped me through high school. There would be fewer interactions with the communities that the college was built on because there would be so much happening on the campus. My colleges now seemed to be balancing on the head of a needle. Then I got my internship.

My internship at an architecture firm not only uncovered my love for designing homes and buildings but also showed me the advantages to a small office. Being able to walk up to a co-worker to ask them a question and have them not only know my name but also respond with an atypical answer that actually helps with my work, is a benefit that I will never underestimate. After getting past the lonely and unfriendly first few days of work I also discovered that everyone in the office shares something with me, the newly-married, long-haired man in the adjacent cubicle shares my love for cycling and skiing, while the woman down the hall can not stop listening to the beautiful blues of Davy Knowles. This was the tipping point, I realized that being able to have a personal conversation with everyone was better than seeing new people everyday, and that no matter how small the school, I would always be able to find somebody that shares the same interests with me. After reviewing the schools, Macalester came out on top. The combination of a small school with the most diverse population in the country plus the architecture program that would give me a chance to study at Washington University in St. Louis is something that I feel no other school can offer.

The only thing I can think of to improve Macalester is a cycling team. With one of twenty two velodromes in the United States twenty minutes away and hundreds of miles of mountain bike trials in the twin cities area alone, I was in a state of shock when I saw that there was not even a biking club that I would be able to join let alone a team. However, I was not disappointed because I knew that this would give me the chance to not only start a cycling club, but also show my leadership abilities (and probably first aid abilities).
EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Dec 6, 2010   #2
... Caribbean are a few activities that give me the thrill of replacing the oxygen that is usually required to keep my body running.

So when I started looking at colleges, I thought that only large schools would be able to give me the opportunity to pursue my quest for asphyxiation...Well this sounds crazy and scary!!

My colleges now seemed to be balancing on the head of a needle. ---By this, do you mean

My internship at an architectural firm not only uncovered my love for designing homes and buildings but also showed me the advantages of a small office.

After getting past the lonely and unfriendly first few days of work, I also discovered that everyone in the office...

This was the tipping point, I realized that being able to have a personal conversation with everyone was better than seeing new people every day , ---a common mistake, but two words here.

The only thing I can think of to improve Macalester would be a cycling team.

With one of twenty two velodromes in the United States twenty minutes away and hundreds of miles of mountain bike trails in the twin cities area alone,...

If you can somehow work in something else about low oxygen situations at the end of your essay, it will wrap it up nicely. Good luck in school and have fun!

:)
gabrielacb 5 / 17  
Dec 11, 2010   #3
I think you should improve your ending. I would also add more things about the school that interest you.
JennyHe 1 / 1  
Jan 6, 2011   #4
I think it's good. You need to work on the ending and maybe add more stuff about what you can bring to Mac. I like the dilemma first and use your intern experience to search the answer. Can you please mine and possibly give me some feedback as well? Thanks.


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