I was not heading in the right direction
, nor had very many influential people to look up to.--
remove the comma..She has always encouraged me to do my best; always pushed me to reach my goals.--
put an appropriate conjuctionShe has always encouraged me to do my best
and always pushed..
She's
been emotionally and physically supported me for years..
Sarah isn't just my sister; she is the
one person I will owe all of my future success to.
She whipped me into shape, explained to me that
in order to have a successful future I had to get my head on straight
and, start working towards my goals
,and push myself to
my limit...
Seeing that she
iswas usually right, I picked my grades up..
Without her I would be on the same path that I was following after my first year of high school, I would still be the same ignorant person wanting everything handed to me on a silver platter.
This is a run-on sentence. Leave out a necessary conjunction in combining independent clauses. "Without her I would be on the same path that I was following after my first year of high school,
and I would still...
She has shaped my life in endless ways, forced me to scale the unmovable obstacles in my path,
and taught me to not worry about the past and focus..
Don't ignore the importance of conjunctions so that you will not lead to common sentence faults. I like how you describe "Sarah as an epitome of your being".. Just be careful in using pronouns because that may sometimes bring you to ambiguity. I appreciate it actually:)